Hello Beautiful People,
I’ve noticed over the last few years of parenting that it seems important for parents, mums in particular to identify or subscribe to a certain parenting style.
Examples: the helicopter parent, the fit parent, the free range parent, the attachment parent…..the I’m barely f$&@ing surviving parent….. And so on…….
There are that many books, blogs, vlogs and movies on how to raise kids, it’s no wonder parents get overwhelmed and confused about which is the right way……..
I know you’re all thinking this b$&@ here is going to tell us there is no right way, there is only your way and whatever you’re doing is ok if it works for you and you’re babies…….
Well you’re wrong…… I’ll tell you why because as a nurse, a Mumma bear, a kinship carer, an active community member with a husband who’s an emergency service worker, I’m going to tell you there is definitely a wrong way to raising children…… You know how I know because in all my roles throughout life, I’ve seen it!
It’s actually incredibly sad and incredibly simple…..
The most obvious wrong way to parent children is to blatantly ignore their needs…..
Babies are born completely dependent on you. They cry as their first and only form of communication. If you choose to actively ignore their crying you are essentially telling them that you are not interested in meeting their needs. Studies have shown that babies who are left to cry repeatedly have higher stress levels and can end up with trust and attachment issues…..
I’m not saying I never let my babies cry, obviously if I’m going to the toilet and they’re crying they’ll have to wait a minute or if it’s a tired grizzle that’s fine.
I mean, say I’m sitting at the dinner table, dishevelled and the house is a pig sty and two of the babies are sitting at the table crying at me, I’m not going to behave like an asshat and continue feeding my fat face whilst ignoring them and worse yet let another family member film this behaviour because they think it’s funny…….
There is nothing funny at all about ignoring your babies cries whilst they try and get your attention….. It’s actually heartbreaking…..
Children from birth, to probably I dare say forever, NEED consistent unconditional love coupled with clear set boundaries and guidelines…. Sensible safe boundaries and guidelines, ones in which they can grow and explore yet know they are safe and have a solid foundation to fall back on when they are unsure.
I’ve been told I’m overprotective of my children or that I wrap them in cotton wool….
Ask our local children’s hospital, I’m pretty sure they’d tell you that statement isn’t true 😁
I’ve also been praised a lot about how kind, polite, lovely and patient they are……😊
What I know is that the children we’ve encountered through our careers and lives that display ‘undesirable’ behaviour are the saddest children. The ones who haven’t been given unconditional love, who haven’t been given safe boundaries….. The ones whose needs haven’t been met…..
I said it before, I’ll say it again, it’s heartbreaking when adults who choose to have children then go and choose not to meet that child’s needs…… It’s a need….Not a want..
An overtired ‘unruly’ bubba needs your patience, needs your calm adult abilities to nurture and soothe the whirlwind of emotions that they are feeling, that they do not understand yet! And this goes for EVERY age, even (especially) teenagers need you as the adult to be calm, in control and nurturing as you guide them through a very challenging time in their lives……
I swear…. a lot…. I let my kids eat junk food (probably more than they should 😏), I’m not pushy about success in sports or academia, I let them stay up late and have random days of school (teachers hate me, sorry! I’d probably homeschool if I had more patience ☺️)
However, I’m consistent with LOVE ❤️
I have always hugged them, told them I love them, told them I’m always here for them no matter what! I’ve always listened and tried to meet all their needs. I’ve always stuck to what I thought was age appropriate developmental care.
I believe in doing this, these beautiful humans have felt safe, secure, guided and loved enough to grow in to these awesome human beings 😊
I’ve never subscribed to one particular parenting type but my deep motherly instincts have shown me that consistency, patience, availability and unconditional love are the keys to raising lovely mini humans ❤️
If you didn’t want to commit to loving them unconditionally, through the good and the really tough times (yes I’ve been through them, often) then you probably shouldn’t have had them. 😕
Oh shock horror someone telling others how to raise their kids…..!!
Well I do it in the hope that maybe one person will read this and think “hey yeah maybe I should chill a bit of make more of an effort to help my bubba feel loved and supported”……
It’s amazing how much easier life is with kiddies when they feel loved, respected, nurtured and understood……
Believe me…. I’m raising six kiddies in this organised chaos and the only real challenge is the newborn sleep deprivation….. The rest is a bit of a breeze if the foundation of your parenting is unconditional love 😊❤️
And that is my two cents on how to raise the next few generations of beautiful people 😊
You can never love a child too much 💗