Hello Beautiful People,
Today is International Day For The Elimination Of Violence Against Women, in Australia recognised as White Ribbon Day:
As a domestic violence survivor myself, as a woman who has supported and continues to support close female family members who have suffered decades of severe domestic violence and having had a best friend who experienced domestic violence, I need to say…..
BREAK THE SILENCE, END THE VIOLENCE!!!!
Further to this as a survivor and a feminist I support White Ribbon Day because society and especially men (and particularly male perpetrators) need to be made aware and accountable for this evil pandemic of violence against women!!
Although funds raised by White Ribbon do not go towards services for victims, they do go towards a prevention and awareness campaign, to stop the violence against women! Yes it is disgusting that this program is needed I’m outraged myself that it is needed however as with primary health care programs:
PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes more money is needed for victims services, believe me I truly know!! But sadly in some socioeconomic groups people (including women) are not even aware of what constitutes domestic violence, so education is often key to stopping the cycle of abuse……..
It took me nearly two decades to realise what I had experienced and witnessed was domestic violence……… If there are primary health programs about sexual health, drugs and alcohol etc then surely there is room for a program promoting the end to violence against women……..
Today I walked with my family in the White Ribbon Walk as I do every year………..
Because as a survivor (many years ago) and a strong feminist and activist of women’s rights, I NEED MY HUSBAND AND SONS to take the oath!!!! To help me feel safe, secure, loved, supported and respected in MY LIFE NOW!!!!
My wonderful husband works tirelessly in his role continuously advocating for the safety of women and children!!! He and our sons take the oath with humility and a heavy heart that they even need to be doing this……. There is never any sense of bravado, only pure, honest hearted concern to set an example to other men about how women should be treated with absolute equality and respect!!
Each walk I’ve participated in has been attended by nearly fifty percent of women, who like me feel strongly about this day…. Yes we still live in an age old evil world ruled by patriarchy and yes a lot of organisations are run by men who certainly should not have been allowed in those roles, however if we do not assign ourselves a role in these organisations and fight the fight from the inside and unite together as women and align ourselves with those few good men that truly support us then change will never be made………. Most men I’ve encountered at The White Ribbon event work dedicatedly in roles to prevent and protect women from violence and/or have had a loved one be a victim of violence…… To say all men that attend this walk and take the oath are self righteous is just inaccurate and plain sad……… Some of their stories are heartbreaking, some have had significant others lives lost due to domestic violence……. Everyone has a story………..It’s a shitty reality we live in……. But for me it’s been shittier and right now I can honestly say I’m really proud of the men in my life for showing their unwavering support to the prevention of violence against women and to ensure the protection of ALL WOMEN and encourae all men to do the same!!!!!
I’d like to express my absolute love and support to all those amazingly strong women who I know personally and all women out there who are survivors of domestic violence…. I’m so so sorry there are so many of you!! There shouldn’t be any of you………… 😔❤️
Everyone’s experience of DV is often completely different from another’s and how we come through it can be different or similar. However there are strength in numbers!! So I say I’m always here for any of you, if you need me to be!! As you’ve often been there for me!!
I once had a ‘friend’ tell me perhaps I shouldn’t be so vocal about my ‘experiences’ because it ‘may make people uncomfortable’….. Needless to say she is a friend no more!
I vow (as do all my family!) to ALWAYS BREAK THE SILENCE TO END THE VIOLENCE!!!! If I see something, I will ALWAYS do something!! As my good friend always reminds me, bad things happen when good people do nothing!!
I’m so completely sorry to all you beautiful women (especially those close to me who’s struggles I’ve witnessed personally) that we live in such a shitty society where we have to stand together and support each other to eradicate violence perpetrated towards us by men!! I’m so completely sorry that there are so many of you….. It truly breaks my heart….. And I can assure you all that I will always use every avenue, every means possible, every single platform I can to shout from the (glass) rooftop that THIS VIOLENCE NEEDS TO STOP!!!!! I will participate in any program, walk, slogan, catch phrase, tokenistic passing phase, ongoing, resource planning, self evaluation, self reflecting, self empowering, growth development, self improvement, social awareness, front line hands on, direct in the firing line, throw my body in front of yours type of action that it takes to change the patriarchal societal dogma that has us all believing that nothing will ever change and we will never be safe!!!!
Yes it’s great to question and challenge where all these programs are coming from, where money is coming from for services, why men are still representing women in eliminating violence against women! In my mind any conversation about violence against women has got to have some slight positivity behind it because change happens when people discuss and evaluate information and situations!! Keep talking!! Keep challenging!! Keep the awareness going!!
The more violence against women is brought out of the darkness the more it can no longer be ignored!!!!! Don’t shun any opportunity to promote The Elimination Of Violence Against Women just because a man may be organising or participating in the event!!! Attend the event!!! Take control of it and make it the angry uprising of WOMEN AGAINST VIOLENCE THAT IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!! 😡😈
Sitting around researching and gripping about how inefficient, inept, evil and corrupt the organisations, programs, governments, people in power are that are ‘supposedly’ effecting change in the process of eliminating violence against women can be useful but what’s more useful is actively getting out there to CREATE CHANGE!!!!!
I know I do!! I can assure you that I have put myself in direct danger many many more times than I should have to protect myself and other women from violence inflicted on us by men!!
And yes it is completely disgracefully bad that I have had to do this!!! Including just last week when Magenta and I stopped some monster from bashing his partner in the middle of the street, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, whilst not a single other person intervened, whilst I had my babies with me!!!! Including several times of calling our local cops on the horrendous neighbour who kept beating his missus until he was finally locked up (thanks to the local police for getting that done!)
I will never ever be an arm chair warrior! I promise I will always donate whatever I can to the desperately in need Women and children’s refuges (especially the two I lived in with Maggie 😌), I promise I will always volunteer my time at these services! I promise I will always volunteer to be the SA nurse if devastatingly and when you ever need one because I want to make sure you have one person in that room who can truly show you empathy and provide you with non judgemental strength and support at one of the most horrendous times of your life!!
I promise I will continue to support my husband and sons to continue to be strong, gentle warriors who lead by example! Who show other men that women are equal and deserve respect and kindness! That they have never and will never ever have the right to lay a hand on any woman anywhere!!!! That they will continue to show other men wrong from right and that violence towards women is not right!!!!
Because change should start with the men!! They should just not hurt, control, abuse OR MURDER WOMEN!!!!!! I don’t want to live in a society anymore were I feel sick in the stomach about whether my daughters , my sisters, my friends are going to be hurt or killed by a man!! I don’t want to feel sick in my stomach because of having to live in a society where I need to be hyper vigilant that my husband and sons are behaving appropriately towards women because from a young age rape culture has indoctrinated them to believe that objectifying, abusing and controlling women is ok!!!!!
It’s great that people challenge organisations, systems, governments, religions, programs, beliefs directed at ending the violence towards women!! The more people that do, the more we will be able to effect a change in society and this evil deeply ingrained male violence towards women culture that seeps in to every aspect of humanity will be eradicated like the putrid pervasive patriarchal disease that it is!!!!! 😡
But mostly I promise to always do everything I can to ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!! BREAK THE SILENCE!! END THE VIOLENCE!!
I promise that if you ever need any help whatsoever I will be here for you………. Those that know me know I truly mean this……. 😌
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