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Beautiful Fragile Life â¤ï¸

Hello beautiful people,
It’s been a long week. One with many highs and lows. I’ve heard people complain about trivial little things. Including myself, griping about small ills that vex me. While others are suffering massive amounts of heartbreak in relative silence. Again through work and also personally through people I care about and admire, I’ve seen the sudden soul saddening, heart wrenching fragility of life rear it’s ugly head unexpectedly………. Leaving some so vulnerable by the complete void that now exists from those that left everyone else behind…….. Life can be really hard….. It can be harder for some than others… Everyone has different levels of coping mechanisms and some cope way better than others through adversity……. I’ve seen and heard about a lot of people passing recently…… This saddens me so deeply often washing over me in waves….. And yet at the same time it continuously reminds me to be grateful for each and every breath I take…. Every sweet sweet second longer that I get to be alive and live and experience every single moment and emotion and highlight or lowlight of this life is truly truly a blessing……. Take a second every day to remind yourself and those that you love how blessed you are to be having this life….. Times will be hard, there will be loss and pain…… But you will never get this moment or this lifetime again…….. Stay strong, reach out, love hard, laugh and most of all if not for yourself but for those that truly love and adore you…….. JUST LIVE 😌❤️
#justlive #suicideawareness 

#begratefulforeveryday

#itsoktonotbeok

#lookforthepositives 💚

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Beautiful Home Hair Cut â¤ï¸

Hello beautiful people!
Happy Weekend!! 

It’s been, as usual a couple of really ridiculously busy weeks. We’ve had a three yr old start preschool in the last two months who suddenly decided in the last two weeks he hated it and cried every single day not to go, coupled with toilet training regression….. So me being me I immediately rang the preschool and told them he won’t be coming back….. besides he may as well stay at home with me and his little sister if we’re going to be home anyway….(yet again another delay in me increasing my hours at work!). I’ve got a one and a half year old with separation anxiety who still breastfeeds 2-3 hourly during the day and ALL night on the boob! I even have to pee with her on my lap otherwise it’s like the end of the world if I put her down 😭It’s been challenging times motivating the teenagers to get off to school because it’s the last term of the year and they’ve all pretty much reached their peak level of interest in their schooling for the year….. I’ve been advising and reassuring my young adult (quiet over achiever) that she is amazing and exactly where she should be in life and to stop stressing about not being further ahead in her career!! Because let’s face it half of the population of the world don’t even know what they want to do or be at her age! Rountine shifts in ED nursing! And maintaining a healthy, happy relationship with the hubby/bestie!! And dealing with a bit of anxiety and unexpectedly revisiting old traumas…. And all this has been exhausting and only just the surface of what’s been going on… so I had a Britney moment and lucky I didn’t have time to grab our clippers so I only grabbed a pair of scissors, because I was feeling hot and frustrated and my wildly dry, fluffy, long, curly hair was driving me crazy.. so off it went ✂️I don’t love me with short hair because I’m self conscious about my ‘chubby’ face but geez I feel lighter, cooler and fresher with it short 😊 And it’s only hair, it’ll grow back! 

Everyone is dealing with challenges and demons, so many you can’t see! 

Please, please, beautiful people keep on keeping on! 

Be strong! 

Make yourself number one! 

Self love is paramount! Peace ❤️


#nooshasbeautifulpeople

#bodypositive

I love this quote below and find it helpful to recite to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed, insecure or just generally low. Have a go, try to replace negative self talk with positive affirmations. Healthy mind, happy heart ❤️ 

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Beautiful Foster Parents â¤ï¸

Hello beautiful people, 

When I was five years old I started kindergarten at Bondi Public School. I made a few good friends straight away and one of them was a boy who lived close to the school with his mum and dad. They were beautiful people kind, caring, compassionate, larger than life types of people. My mum was a single parent at the time and worked long hours so she would often need some help looking after me. My mates parents stepped up and were more than happy to let me go to their house after school or stay over on weekends. I loved going there. They were like foster parents to me. They treated me like their daughter and I always felt safe, loved and welcome there. When I started high school, another friend of mine was experiencing family breakdown and my mate and I asked his parents if they could foster our other friend too. Our friend really needed a family to take her in otherwise she was looking at going in to a refuge or foster care with strangers. These beautiful people stepped up and underwent the training and assessment required to become official foster parents and took in our friend as their own. I slowly started spending less and less time with them in my mid to late teens as I began to try and navigate the world around me a little more by myself but they stayed in my life and heart always.  I had formed such a bond with them as a small child that in my mind and heart they represented to me what an example of a loving married couple and good parents should look like. I was told that my mates dad, this beautiful big hearted man who I had known as one of the very few positive male role models in my life was terminally ill when I was in my late teens. I was completely heartbroken. I hadn’t really ever lost anyone I had loved so much before. I was scared and so sad at the same time to say goodbye to him but I did. I’m glad I did and I’m glad he got to meet my daughter before he left us. In my foster mum’s grief she experienced terrible anxiety and depression. She never remarried and talked of her loneliness and love for her departed husband always. These two beautiful people believed they were soul mates. Together they had loved and looked after so many people. My foster mother tried to continue to look after people but she struggled a lot on her own. We lost touch for a while in my twenties but when we reconnected it was like we had never been apart and our bond only grew as we let each other more and more in to our current lives and shared more of our pasts. This woman and her beautiful late husband inspired me to be the caring, compassionate, unconditionally loving parent I am today. They taught me that family is what you make it. They taught me to love unconditionally. They taught me to love myself. They weren’t perfect, they had their flaws but they loved each other and their families, warts and all. This beautiful woman, my foster mum, lived for over twenty years without her soul mate. Until this year, when she too got diagnosed with a terminal illness. It’s been three months nearly to the day that she passed away……. My life was so truly blessed to have her in it and my heart is still broken and now that she’s gone I don’t know if my life will ever be the same. I made sure I told her every second I could of every minute of her last days with us of how much of a positive influence she had on my life. How lucky are children like me and my friends that beautiful parents like these existed 😔❤️

http://www.fosteringnsw.com.au/

Posted in All The Bits In Between, Attachment parenting, Babies, Baby's, Birth, Body image, Family, Friends, Happiness, Health, Hospitals, Like a queen, Marriage, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Peace, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sadness, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Beautiful Maternal Mental Health â¤ï¸

Hello Beautiful People,

This week on May the 3rd it was International Maternal Mental Health Day. Also around the globe May 1st-7th is recognised as Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. This is a fairly new awareness program set up in the last few years to recognise and put in place much needed supports for women and their families.
Maternal Mental Health is a topic very close to my heart, for several reasons. So I value this week and the awareness and support it’s raising very much.
Maternal Mental Health (MMH) addresses women and their mental health throughout the perinatal period. That is the time from which they get pregnant, give birth and up until the baby is a year or so old. 

The reasons I feel so strongly about raising awareness and promoting support around perinatal mental health are motivated by personal experiences. 

I have been through the perinatal period quite a few times in my life and sometimes it’s not been smooth sailing.

I’ve witnessed close family members struggle alone and suffer tremendously throughout the perinatal period.

I’ve supported friends who’ve felt like they were drowning throughout their perinatal  period……

I’m currently still just in the perinatal period….

Am I ok? Maybe……

The few heartbreaking things that myself, my family member and my friends all said we experienced throughout our perinatal period that we didn’t expect were:

• feelings of being overwhelmed with pregnancy; body changes; fear of baby not growing healthily; fear of no longer being attractive to partner; fear of birth; fear of birth complications; fear of not being heard by care providers; fear of not being able to breastfeed; fear of not bonding with baby; fear of not waking to baby; fear of not feeding baby enough; fear of not being able to settle baby; fear of not knowing why baby is crying; fear of baby crying because something serious is wrong; fear of something bad happening to baby; fear of body not going back to pre-baby state; fear of no time for partner; fear of no time for other children; fear of no time for self; feeling isolated; feeling overwhelmed; feeling exhausted; feeling unsupported; feeling unprepared; feeling pressure to be the perfect mum; feeling unhappy with self; feeling like a failure….. and sadly the list goes on…… All these fears experienced and shared by a group of wonderful, intelligent otherwise incredibly healthy women throughout their perinatal period… And all of them treated in completely different ways by their care providers.

Yes we all got asked the routine antenatal questions and only two out of five of us got flagged and followed up…. There are so many potential triggers for perinatal depression and anxiety coupled with massive hormone changes, it’s so hard to know who will be ok and who won’t. I was not one of the ones to be followed up despite knowing I met a lot of the criteria for high risk post natal depression….. I did however seek support on my own from my GP and Karitane a good six months after my last baby was born because after the adrenaline of running on no sleep at all for the first six months of my baby’s life wore off I realised how anxious I was and that I needed support. One friend was immediately commenced on antidepressants by her doctor because her anxiety was all time consuming and she was already exhibiting signs of depression. She said she felt like a new woman and immediately bonded with her baby and could finally function without her fears controlling her. I didn’t feel I needed medication and utilised other methods to help with my anxiety. My family member who also met the criteria for high risk for post natal depression due to a previous mental health history, history of domestic violence and being a single mother was not so lucky with her support network. She fell through the cracks so to speak and although she was already on low dose antidepressants she was alone, exhausted, completely drowning in her fears and level of responsibility as a new and single mother. She suffered from a severe postpartum psychosis and her baby was removed from her care, permanently…… But that is her story to tell completely…. All I can say to that is that as a witness to her experience and whilst going through the perinatal period myself at the same time as her, my heart completely and utterly broke for her….. And I questioned why her and not me and years and pregnancies later I still remain hyper vigilant around my mental health throughout the perinatal period.

And it’s because of all these beautiful women with all their varied experiences and yet similar feelings and thoughts around the time of their pregnancies, births and new babies, that I think this week, Maternal Mental Health Week is so important! It needs to be recognised as a topic that needs to be discussed openly so that assessments are done routinely and universally. So that support networks and programs are implemented properly and in a timely manner. So that women can avoid getting acutely unwell. So that families can feel supported and stay together! 

As for me…. despite writing a post over six months ago around R U OK day and saying I was not ok, I think it’s time to say…. I’m doing ok…. Slowly….

I’m still mildly suffering from anxiety and severe fatigue but I’m happy. 

I have a great support network and I know that’s what gets me through. Also my baby is one now and although I’ve only ever felt this anxious once before with all my perinatal periods I’m glad that I know it won’t last, like it didn’t before. I don’t let the small stuff consume me. The house can stay messy (despite my cleaning OCD). We can have take away a few times a week if Hubby and I are too exhausted to cook. All my children are healthy and loved. I practice mindfulness. I have a psychologist. I vent to my hubby and eldest daughter/bestie. I walk. I write. I read. I sing. All things I do for me to ensure relaxation and peace. And slowly but surely everyday gets the teeny tiniest bit easier…… 😌❤️ 

To all those beautiful women out there struggling alone in silence with your overwhelming thoughts, whether you’re a first time mum or a millionth time mummy like me, please, speak up, speak out, talk to absolutely anybody you feel comfortable talking to! Sometimes getting those thoughts out of your head is the first steps to feeling better! 

And know this! 

You are not alone!

I am right here with you!

You are a wonderful mummy!

You are amazing!

You’re doing great!

You’re a beautiful human!

And your baby loves and needs you ❤️
(If you need to talk to someone or are concerned about someone please contact one of the links below)

http://www.panda.org.au/practical-information/382-signs-and-symptoms-of-postnatal-depression
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/what-is-mental-health?&gclid=COqamZXo1dMCFcYsvQodHL0GBQ

http://www.beatbabyblues.com.au/What_is_perinatal_mental_health.aspx



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Beautiful Perfect Age Gap ❤️ 

Hello Beautiful People,
The mummy fatigue is still at its peak. I’ve conversed with my husband a lot about this fatigue lately, for a few reasons. Yes we are raising six children so everyone expects us to be exhausted. However, we’ve come to the conclusion that these two beautiful last baby’s that we have been blessed with are the absolute reasons for our complete and utter parental exhaustion! Poor sweet little babes are being blamed for our feelings of downfall as super hero parents that have finally crashed and burned…….
The reality is, it’s not actually the babies faults. There are many factors at play here that have finally tipped us over our limit of being able to bear with the perpetual tiredness to nearly crying from the brain fog of pure exhaustion! 

These factors are:

 We may actually suddenly have one…. or two, too many children…..  (I’m kidding 😬)

Our ages….. ughhh as much as I hate to admit it,  yes it’s true we are much older this time (and more unfit) and we tire much easier than we did with our older children. 

The temperament of our two littlest ones. These two are beautifully rowdy. Perhaps it’s because they are aware that they are in a large family and feel they need to compete for attention. Or maybe it’s just their personalities but these two little ones are noisier, more energetic, inquisitive, demanding and sleep way less than any of their older siblings. 

They are also very close in age. They were born nineteen months apart. We’ve never had such a close age gap before with our older children. In fact we’ve had some small age gaps but we’ve also had some really large age gaps. Our oldest daughter is seven years older than our next son. Then the three middle boys are fairly close in age with a three year gap being our favourite gap so far. We then had a ten year gap between the middle boys and our last two little ones….. Who are the lovely little high energy babes that are nineteen months apart.

I’ve recently met a few lovely mums at my local playgroup who are new mums and they ask me what age gap I recommend as the most ideal one to have a second baby……

When I’m truly exhausted I jokingly say never….. However I tell them that every family is different and has different experiences so may suggest different things. But for us having these last two babies close together has,  at times been akin to a living nightmare….. 

It all starts off so lovely and exciting bringing home the new sibling for the new toddler…. Then within months the reality sets in…. Endless mountains of washing, some little human nearly always crying because of hunger, tiredness, dirty nappy, double teething, sibling jealousy…. this list is not exhaustive, but I am….. 

The sibling rivalry once the baby starts moving, the tandem crying at night from night terrors, molars, hungry baby, new teeth, why does baby get to be held all night and not me…… So many challenges at once…. and don’t even get me started on trying to toilet train a toddler with an inquisitive baby crawling towards a potty full of fresh poo……. Or when they both become really mobile and older child is a runner and an escape artist and takes off in the opposite direction to the one you’re going in with his newly walking baby sister…. So you scoop her up fast, so now she’s crying because her walking accomplishment wasn’t well enough recognised because you need to chase big brother before he reaches the road…… I don’t care how judgemental people are if you’ve got a close age gap and very energetic, active, independent little ones that like to walk/run everywhere, do yourself a favour and carry baby (baby wearing) or use a pram and most definitely get one of those delightful (lifesaving) back pack/ leash strap devices! Better to take some criticism than have a disarstorus accident. Believe me I’ve nearly fallen to my knees crying for someone to chase my son and catch him before he reaches the road because I’m struggling to run after him carrying the baby… We aren’t given any books or manuals on how to deal with the reality of the everyday struggles that come with having two babies close together. 

I was talking to another mum friend/colleague who has the same age gap with her babies. We were commiserating with each other about how hard it is to do even the simplest things, like going to the toilet…. You have to take the two of them with you otherwise you’ll come back and find the baby has been buried under a pile of unfolded clean washing by the older child, who has now climbed up on the back of the lounge wearing a cap mimicking his favourite Paw Patrol character….. Long gone are the days I could do a wee in peace… And yes I’ve had years of having to take a baby in to the bathroom with me but these two just seem to egg each other on to do the cheekiest things they can to push my buttons! 

For me and my family, I honestly feel like the three year age gap and above is the winner! Reasons being for this are obvious, you’re usually only breastfeeding one at a time then, there’s only going to be one in nappies, hopefully there’s only going to be one having night wakings, the older child is easier to talk to, rationalise and negotiate with and they are usually more helpful, more understanding and less jealous of their new little sibling. 

On the flip side of this argument I’ve heard people in favour of a close age gap say “yes but I like that they will grow up close to each other and that it’s a few hard years but then all sleepless nights and nappies are over and done with at once”…. To that I say “hey that’s great for you….. but to hell with a few rough years I’d rather a nice age gap and a few smooth years that don’t make me look and feel like I’ve aged a decade in a year and a half”!…..

I met another lovely mum at playgroup today. I remarked how sweet her daughters were and inquired about their ages. She told me they were eighteen months apart…… And asked about the ages of my two…. I replied nineteen months apart…… We looked at each other with that defeated smile and gave each other that empathetic nod….. “It’s hard isn’t it”? She almost half whispered….. “It sure is” I barely choked out as we both quickly broke our visual exchange perhaps for fear that one of us would drop our guard and burst in to tears  of exhaustion…..  After a pause I felt it necessary to say “hey how good are we as mums and how wonderful despite the difficulties are our babies, I love them so much, I truly wouldn’t have it any other way”!…… Suddenly her exhausted face broke in to a beaming smile and she replied with absolute love and certainty “same, its a beautiful perfect age gap really, isn’t it”?! ❤️


Posted in All The Bits In Between, Attachment parenting, Babies, Baby's, Birth, Body image, Family, Friends, Fun, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Peace, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sadness, schools, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Beautiful Mild Mannered Middle Son, Marley Kai â¤ï¸

Hello beautiful people,

Well it was bound to happen this week…. The eyes leaked a little 😌 Valid reason of course! This day 13 Years ago I gave birth to my third child, my second son, my biggest baby, my second easiest birth resulting in my calmest, most relaxed easy going, always happy baby boy!
And yes our, now teenager and our littlest warrior princess’s birthday’s are only one day apart. Things like this happen in large families like ours. The beautiful part is I remember a year ago Marley saying to me “mum can’t you keep the baby in your stomach one more day because I’d love to share a birthday with my little sibling” He makes me laugh because he is such a kind hearted, gentle soul and yet really cheeky funny too. And he genuinely would have loved for his little sister to be born on his birthday! He would have thought it was the coolest gift ever! 

You see what people don’t realise about our Marley Kai is that for ten years he was our baby. He was always happy as a baby but as he got older he showed signs of being an empath early. He was always sensitive to the emotions of others around him, he seemed gentle, soft and vulnerable. And so as a family, and him being the baby, we all tended to do most things for him. And despite my best efforts for over ten years to get him some support, I was continually told there was nothing wrong with him and I should stop feeling concerned and comparing him to my older kids……. So thanks to all those specialists who told me to ignore my mothers instincts, I did stop pursuing assessments and support for my son. Satisfied that any ‘quirks’ I had concerns about were nothing to worry about. And besides, I knew nothing was ‘wrong’ with my son I just wanted to make sure he was getting the right support he needed to navigate his way through life and learning,  safely, comfortably and to the best of his ability. 

My concerns alleviated when he was ten were like a weight of my shoulders and so we decided we would continue to grow our family. Marley was overjoyed when he found out he was finally going to be a big brother and no longer be the baby. Having William was one of the best decisions we ever made!! From the day he was born despite the ten year age difference the obvious bond between Marley and William has been so heartwarming to watch. William is so highly energetic and quite clever and Marley is so very kind, loving and patient with him, even when he’s being incredibly annoying. Marley is also studious and bright and has taught his little brother so much. 

My baby boy has grown so much through the responsibilities of being a big brother and it’s been beautiful to watch!

The hard times came when he encountered some nasty comments from his peers in high school, such as taunts about being ‘weird’….. I guess I thought it was because he has a love of reading and online games and I was going to think nothing of it until we had to revisit the old chest nut that was the problem of his attention span…..

So exactly one month after his little sister Florence was born he had an assessment again at age 12 that confirmed ADD and High Functioning Autism (which back in the day when there was no Autism Spectrum, the diagnosis would have been Aspergers). 

I was shocked because I’d been told so many times before that I was looking for something that wasn’t there…. But none of this makes a difference to us, we still do what we’ve always done. No medication, regular OT, address sensory issues, extra time for tasks, appropriate use of technology, eye contact with good clear communication and of course my favourite lots and lots of love and hugs!!

Tonight I got teary because we were hesitant to have more babies despite wanting them. I worried about money, time and responsibilities towards Marley being my baby and needing me. Tonight I suddenly realised how absolutely perfect it has been for him to have his little brother and sister. Tonight I clearly saw the lovely brilliant minded, cheeky funny, quirky young man my beautiful son Marley Kai has grown into!

A kind, caring, intelligent soul, who is an amazing big brother, a cheeky little brother, a wonderfully loving son and a very much loved grandson! And if he’s seen as weird then that’s ok because in this family being weird means you’re cool 😎 Because who wants to be the boring same as everyone else anyway! I bet you people called Bill Gates weird or different back in the day 😜

So here’s to you my sweet mild mannered  brilliant beautiful minded son Marley Kai! You my son, you melt my heart, don’t overthink that or take it too literally, I mean you reduce my heart to tears of joy because I’m so blessed to have you in my life! Happy 13th Birthday my love! Me, dad and your brothers and sisters will always love you more than you ever say you love us and I know you know what I mean! Show the world how amazingly awesome we know you are! We love you more than all the universe and more than all the stars ❤️

https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/

http://www.autismawareness.com.au/





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Beautiful Madonna 💖

Good Morning Beautiful People,
THIS!!!! I’ve always loved Madonna despite the years of slut shaming she has encountered in the music industry!! I love how she inspires us in her speech to seek out support from other (strong) women!! This is one reason why despite my love hate relationship with social media I stay on here. Because there are so many intelligent, amazing strong women on here I love to learn from and connect with 💓 I don’t have an immediate tribe of strong women around so this is were I can draw on my feminine strength. I may not be the right ‘kind’ of feminist that others would want me to be but everyday I’m learning….. and as Madonna said maybe I’m just a “bad feminist” which I rather be than not one at all 😌 
I love this speech and I hope that my feelings are correct in sensing that there is a global shift in consciousness occurring, where women gather together to acknowledge their worth and power 💖💞💪🏼
P.S And despite being married half my life just like Madonna I have been slut shamed frequently too, even by so called friends… believe me when I say those comments stick with you for decades….. However also like Madonna (except without the exceptionally sexy and talented part 😬) I have always owned my confidence and sexuality!! Because it is mine to own and be proud of!!!! 😊❤️

#likeaboss #womeninmusic #womenunite #womanoftheyear #iwearwhatiwant #feministlife 💓

http://www.billboard.com/video/madonnas-full-acceptance-speech-at-billboard-women-in-music-2016-7624369