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Beautiful Mild Mannered Middle Son, Marley Kai ❤️

Hello beautiful people,

Well it was bound to happen this week…. The eyes leaked a little 😌 Valid reason of course! This day 13 Years ago I gave birth to my third child, my second son, my biggest baby, my second easiest birth resulting in my calmest, most relaxed easy going, always happy baby boy!
And yes our, now teenager and our littlest warrior princess’s birthday’s are only one day apart. Things like this happen in large families like ours. The beautiful part is I remember a year ago Marley saying to me “mum can’t you keep the baby in your stomach one more day because I’d love to share a birthday with my little sibling” He makes me laugh because he is such a kind hearted, gentle soul and yet really cheeky funny too. And he genuinely would have loved for his little sister to be born on his birthday! He would have thought it was the coolest gift ever! 

You see what people don’t realise about our Marley Kai is that for ten years he was our baby. He was always happy as a baby but as he got older he showed signs of being an empath early. He was always sensitive to the emotions of others around him, he seemed gentle, soft and vulnerable. And so as a family, and him being the baby, we all tended to do most things for him. And despite my best efforts for over ten years to get him some support, I was continually told there was nothing wrong with him and I should stop feeling concerned and comparing him to my older kids……. So thanks to all those specialists who told me to ignore my mothers instincts, I did stop pursuing assessments and support for my son. Satisfied that any ‘quirks’ I had concerns about were nothing to worry about. And besides, I knew nothing was ‘wrong’ with my son I just wanted to make sure he was getting the right support he needed to navigate his way through life and learning,  safely, comfortably and to the best of his ability. 

My concerns alleviated when he was ten were like a weight of my shoulders and so we decided we would continue to grow our family. Marley was overjoyed when he found out he was finally going to be a big brother and no longer be the baby. Having William was one of the best decisions we ever made!! From the day he was born despite the ten year age difference the obvious bond between Marley and William has been so heartwarming to watch. William is so highly energetic and quite clever and Marley is so very kind, loving and patient with him, even when he’s being incredibly annoying. Marley is also studious and bright and has taught his little brother so much. 

My baby boy has grown so much through the responsibilities of being a big brother and it’s been beautiful to watch!

The hard times came when he encountered some nasty comments from his peers in high school, such as taunts about being ‘weird’….. I guess I thought it was because he has a love of reading and online games and I was going to think nothing of it until we had to revisit the old chest nut that was the problem of his attention span…..

So exactly one month after his little sister Florence was born he had an assessment again at age 12 that confirmed ADD and High Functioning Autism (which back in the day when there was no Autism Spectrum, the diagnosis would have been Aspergers). 

I was shocked because I’d been told so many times before that I was looking for something that wasn’t there…. But none of this makes a difference to us, we still do what we’ve always done. No medication, regular OT, address sensory issues, extra time for tasks, appropriate use of technology, eye contact with good clear communication and of course my favourite lots and lots of love and hugs!!

Tonight I got teary because we were hesitant to have more babies despite wanting them. I worried about money, time and responsibilities towards Marley being my baby and needing me. Tonight I suddenly realised how absolutely perfect it has been for him to have his little brother and sister. Tonight I clearly saw the lovely brilliant minded, cheeky funny, quirky young man my beautiful son Marley Kai has grown into!

A kind, caring, intelligent soul, who is an amazing big brother, a cheeky little brother, a wonderfully loving son and a very much loved grandson! And if he’s seen as weird then that’s ok because in this family being weird means you’re cool 😎 Because who wants to be the boring same as everyone else anyway! I bet you people called Bill Gates weird or different back in the day 😜

So here’s to you my sweet mild mannered  brilliant beautiful minded son Marley Kai! You my son, you melt my heart, don’t overthink that or take it too literally, I mean you reduce my heart to tears of joy because I’m so blessed to have you in my life! Happy 13th Birthday my love! Me, dad and your brothers and sisters will always love you more than you ever say you love us and I know you know what I mean! Show the world how amazingly awesome we know you are! We love you more than all the universe and more than all the stars ❤️

https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/

http://www.autismawareness.com.au/





Posted in All The Bits In Between, Attachment parenting, Babies, Baby's, Birth, Body image, Careers, Family, Friends, Fun, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Pregnancy, Queens, Relationships, Sadness, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Toddlers

Beautiful Last Baby’s 1st Birthday 💖

Hello beautiful people,

Once again it’s been a little while (too long perhaps) between posts. There are a few reasons behind this. I was very busy over the holiday season with my family, I was busy with school going back for my older children, that, came with some challenges, I was busy turning forty but mostly I was busy living each day in the moment! 
I had made a conscious decision that if I was going to get control over my sadness and anxiety that had snuck in and was holding on tightly to me from the moment I brought my beautiful last baby home from the hospital that I needed to focus on the present only. To live in each day and experience only that day for what it truly was instead of dwelling on the past and causing more depression or worrying about the future therefore increasing my anxiety.

I’m happy to report that this way of living has worked really well for me and in turn my family. I’ve felt so much more positive and in control of my thoughts, actions and life in general these last couple of months. In fact I’ve returned to the old me that completely and utterly loved the beautiful chaos that my life becomes when I’m a stay at home mum on maternity leave! I love how lucky and blessed I am and have been, to be able to have a whole year off work to stay at home and spend all my time nurturing, bonding, loving and mothering my last little miracle baby 💖 And even better still is that I’ve been able to keep my toddler who is now two and a half years old at home with us too. 

Sure at times it’s been really challenging, exhausting, overwhelming and isolating. However most of the time it’s been wonderful, full of many firsts and many lasts. First words, first giggles, first kisses, first steps but all these firsts will also be our last firsts because our little princess warrior turns one today! 

This is our last baby so it’s bitter sweet, I’ve reminded myself through all the tough times, the sleepless nights, the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the marathon feeding sessions, the teething, fevers, separation anxiety that I will never be this needed again….. It’s so exciting and heartwarming that our baby girl is one but at the same time it’s the first time in a while that I’ve felt close to tears and thought slow down years I need more time. I need to hold my last baby a little longer. I’ll pick her up whenever she cries, feed her whenever she wants, co-sleep as long as she wants, give her all of my attention and unconditional love as often as I can and as long as she needs me to… And this I have offered to her older siblings too because time goes so fast and I chose to have all these beautiful little humans so I will love protect and guide them with all my heart for as long as they need me to. 

I am fortunate enough that I can stay at home and care for my children as much as I want for as long as I want, however I will return to work on reduced hours soon.

But for now to stay in my happy place that I’ve built for myself,  out of the ashes of the ocean that I was drowning in late last year, I will live right now in this moment of my beautiful last baby’s first birthday! I will rejoice in her existence, revel in her love and bask in her light filled company. I will forever feel grateful and blessed that this day last year I gave birth to my last beautiful baby, a girl, a little sister to her big sister and four older brothers!

Happy 1st Birthday to our little warrior princess Florence Rey 💖 You are loved more than words ever could convey ❤️

Posted in Babies, Baby's, Birth, Family, Friends, Fun, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Pregnancy, Relationships, Society, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Beautiful Chaotic Lunchdate 💗

Hello Beautiful People,
It’s been a couple of very busy weeks the last two weeks. And luckily, mostly fun outings, great company and beautiful weather. I was lucky enough to go in The Sydney Color Run with a small team of the beautiful Wonder Women that I know, I’ve been to bbqs, playgroups and Oztag.  However today I was lucky enough to be invited to a lunch/play date with some beautiful women that I know, Doctors and Nurses from my work, who are also new mums. 

I decided to go at the last minute as I knew I would be the only one there with a toddler and a baby. I still haven’t placed master two in any form of Childcare, for a few reasons. One, I haven’t liked any that I’ve seen so far. Two, I didn’t want to put him in care the minute his baby sister was born because I didn’t want him to feel like he was being palmed off because of the new baby. Three, I figured if I was going to be at home with bubba he may as well stay at home with us as well. Four, have you seen the cost of Childcare?! And Five, I’m just not sure I’m ready to let anyone else look after him….. That is until today’s lunch date…
Myself, master two and baby princess enjoyed a relaxed 40 minute drive to a lovely restaurant with an indoor children’s play land to meet our friends. Once there master two was his usual seriously hyped up overdrive excitable self. In other words he ran away from me the minute we got there! My friends of course were amazing and accomodating and looked after bubba on the several occasions I had to suddenly run off after speedy toddler. I barely got to sit down and chat or enjoy these beautiful women’s company or even really meet their babies! I spent the majority of my time with two year old in the indoor play land. I even finished feeding bubba in the play land so I could continue supervising toddler. There were a few moments when I felt like a few other parents may have thrown a sympathetic glance my way as it truly felt like I had the most energetic chaotic toddler in the whole place. 
I remarked to my friends that it was hard juggling both bubba and toddler, especially trying to meet both their needs. To this one of my beautiful friends said ‘of course and especially catering to a toddlers developmental needs at the same time as looking after a baby’…… Then minutes later another beautiful Mumma I didn’t know said to me in the play land, ‘two year olds are a lot of work aren’t they, especially when you can tell they are getting bored by their destructive behaviour’ she was looking at her own son when she said this….. But it made me wonder…….
At the end of lunch, the lunch I barely got to eat, chat or even sit down at, one beautiful friend gave each of us mums a homemade bib, they’re so beautiful. And another beautiful mum paid for our lunch and we said our goodbyes. I felt so spoilt.

Both baby and toddler left the restaurant easily enough and were asleep within five minutes of being in the car. Whilst driving home I got a bit emotional thinking about how my boy is probably a little bored and ready for some stimulating Childcare and I probably really deserve to have a nice non chaotic Lunchdate occasionally! But mostly I’m just always in awe about how blessed I am in my life to have such beautiful children, despite the chaos, and to know such beautiful people as these women. Even new mums can give me sound advice to remind me about my choices in life. It’s so brilliant to be blessed with this beautiful chaotic life. So I shall continue my Childcare quest with a renewed sense of optimism. Thank you beautiful mummas for your genuine kindness 😊💖