Hello beautiful people,
Its been a long time between posts, as is usual for me…..
I haven’t been less passionate about the things I’m fiercely passionate about however I have been spending a lot of time thinking about ways to express myself on certain issues that get me fired up without coming across as angry all the time….. .
But alas here we are again…. Im fucking angry….. And heartbroken…… And ashamed…..
Whilst I’ve always been a feminist and advocated for equality for women and for an immediate end to the senseless deaths of women at the hands of men, usually someone they know, week after week, this week I’ve been forced to self reflect again like I have in the past. Am I being authentic in my proclomations of being inclusive and not racist…… In my little white privileged middle class life how many women of colour have I openly showed up for?……..
Im so fucking angry and sad with myself right now because in all my years of trying to be an activist and advocate for ending violence against women, I can only think of one woman of colour who I’ve openly discussed my heartbreak over her death…. Was this because I knew her personally?….
Over the last three days two teenage girls have been murdered.
One in Melbourne and one in California.
One was of Sudanese decent, the other was African American……
When a white woman is randomly murdered in a public place and sometimes even in their own homes every single form of media is reporting on it. Especially if its an attractive middle upper class white woman……
Is this why I haven’t been a better advocate for women of colour because I was blind, unaware of these deaths, uneducated to this problem because they arent being reported about?…..
Or am I just being a douche bag making excuses for my shityy self because acknowledging that there is truth in the possibility that I subconsciously knew this was happening and did nothing about it makes me a fucking racist…. Which makes me pissed at myself….
Ive always tried to be an active ally. But obviously only when it suited me or I was comfortable with it…. BUT I SAY FUCK THAT!! My comfort does not matter when people are being murdered and no one’s showing up for them!!
Black lives matter!
Womens lives matter!
Women of colour lives matter!
But am I doing enough?! Am I speaking up enough?! Sadly I don’t think so….
How is this still happening in this time and place?!…. How is there still space for such an insidious evil as racism in our beautiful global community?!…..
And then I remember that I’m part of the problem too, for all minority groups I say I’m an ally to….
Because I sit here day after day in my white middle class ivory tower complaining about white middle class privileged things, like why don’t I have enough money to renovate, or get cosmetic surgery, or a house cleaner or a nanny……
And even though I harbor similar fears as other women about my personal safety and the possibility of being raped and murdered by a man…
There are layers and depths of hatred that those WOC and other minority groups experience being spewed at them that I will never have to painfully endure and that until recently I barely thought about or even consciously knew existed….
And I dont want to cry my white woman tears all over a racially charged issue but fuck Im disappointed in myself….
Because if you’re not aware, educated, enlightened, creating awareness, creating discussions and supporting change, then you’re doing nothing!
And doing nothing is basically upholding the shitty system thats currently in place!!
The system where WOC are being murdered and NOT even being reported on and in some countries these women are NOT even counted in the death statistics…. Basically as if they never existed, except to their families…. Who often fight for justice for them but NEVER get it!!
These two beautiful teenage girls were daughters, granddaughters, neices, sisters, friends….
They had families and friends that loved them. They were strong, smart, kind, intelligent young women!!
They had their whole future’s ahead of them!!
And now they’re dead…
Because some evil self entitled males decided they had the right and the power to violently end a young girls life……
These senseless deaths need to STOP!!
Men need to STOP MURDERING WOMEN!!
EVERYONE needs to speak out against this violence!! Especially men!
All women murdered deserve to be recognized, deserve justice, deserve to be remembered…….
I know I never knew any of you personally that were taken too soon And I’m sorry Im not sure what else I can do but Im still learning so that I can be an active participant in change!
So that none of your deaths will be in vain….
As part of your global community, my tears are real, as I feel your family’s pain…..
Im still not sure yet what else I can do to effect change,
I’m sorry you were let down,
I’m sorry I haven’t done more,
For now as a start, to honor you, I will keep speaking your name……
RIP LAA CHOL ❤
RIP NIA WILSON ❤