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Hello Beautiful People,
The mummy fatigue is still at its peak. I’ve conversed with my husband a lot about this fatigue lately, for a few reasons. Yes we are raising six children so everyone expects us to be exhausted. However, we’ve come to the conclusion that these two beautiful last baby’s that we have been blessed with are the absolute reasons for our complete and utter parental exhaustion! Poor sweet little babes are being blamed for our feelings of downfall as super hero parents that have finally crashed and burned…….
The reality is, it’s not actually the babies faults. There are many factors at play here that have finally tipped us over our limit of being able to bear with the perpetual tiredness to nearly crying from the brain fog of pure exhaustion! 

These factors are:

 We may actually suddenly have one…. or two, too many children…..  (I’m kidding 😬)

Our ages….. ughhh as much as I hate to admit it,  yes it’s true we are much older this time (and more unfit) and we tire much easier than we did with our older children. 

The temperament of our two littlest ones. These two are beautifully rowdy. Perhaps it’s because they are aware that they are in a large family and feel they need to compete for attention. Or maybe it’s just their personalities but these two little ones are noisier, more energetic, inquisitive, demanding and sleep way less than any of their older siblings. 

They are also very close in age. They were born nineteen months apart. We’ve never had such a close age gap before with our older children. In fact we’ve had some small age gaps but we’ve also had some really large age gaps. Our oldest daughter is seven years older than our next son. Then the three middle boys are fairly close in age with a three year gap being our favourite gap so far. We then had a ten year gap between the middle boys and our last two little ones….. Who are the lovely little high energy babes that are nineteen months apart.

I’ve recently met a few lovely mums at my local playgroup who are new mums and they ask me what age gap I recommend as the most ideal one to have a second baby……

When I’m truly exhausted I jokingly say never….. However I tell them that every family is different and has different experiences so may suggest different things. But for us having these last two babies close together has,  at times been akin to a living nightmare….. 

It all starts off so lovely and exciting bringing home the new sibling for the new toddler…. Then within months the reality sets in…. Endless mountains of washing, some little human nearly always crying because of hunger, tiredness, dirty nappy, double teething, sibling jealousy…. this list is not exhaustive, but I am….. 

The sibling rivalry once the baby starts moving, the tandem crying at night from night terrors, molars, hungry baby, new teeth, why does baby get to be held all night and not me…… So many challenges at once…. and don’t even get me started on trying to toilet train a toddler with an inquisitive baby crawling towards a potty full of fresh poo……. Or when they both become really mobile and older child is a runner and an escape artist and takes off in the opposite direction to the one you’re going in with his newly walking baby sister…. So you scoop her up fast, so now she’s crying because her walking accomplishment wasn’t well enough recognised because you need to chase big brother before he reaches the road…… I don’t care how judgemental people are if you’ve got a close age gap and very energetic, active, independent little ones that like to walk/run everywhere, do yourself a favour and carry baby (baby wearing) or use a pram and most definitely get one of those delightful (lifesaving) back pack/ leash strap devices! Better to take some criticism than have a disarstorus accident. Believe me I’ve nearly fallen to my knees crying for someone to chase my son and catch him before he reaches the road because I’m struggling to run after him carrying the baby… We aren’t given any books or manuals on how to deal with the reality of the everyday struggles that come with having two babies close together. 

I was talking to another mum friend/colleague who has the same age gap with her babies. We were commiserating with each other about how hard it is to do even the simplest things, like going to the toilet…. You have to take the two of them with you otherwise you’ll come back and find the baby has been buried under a pile of unfolded clean washing by the older child, who has now climbed up on the back of the lounge wearing a cap mimicking his favourite Paw Patrol character….. Long gone are the days I could do a wee in peace… And yes I’ve had years of having to take a baby in to the bathroom with me but these two just seem to egg each other on to do the cheekiest things they can to push my buttons! 

For me and my family, I honestly feel like the three year age gap and above is the winner! Reasons being for this are obvious, you’re usually only breastfeeding one at a time then, there’s only going to be one in nappies, hopefully there’s only going to be one having night wakings, the older child is easier to talk to, rationalise and negotiate with and they are usually more helpful, more understanding and less jealous of their new little sibling. 

On the flip side of this argument I’ve heard people in favour of a close age gap say “yes but I like that they will grow up close to each other and that it’s a few hard years but then all sleepless nights and nappies are over and done with at once”…. To that I say “hey that’s great for you….. but to hell with a few rough years I’d rather a nice age gap and a few smooth years that don’t make me look and feel like I’ve aged a decade in a year and a half”!…..

I met another lovely mum at playgroup today. I remarked how sweet her daughters were and inquired about their ages. She told me they were eighteen months apart…… And asked about the ages of my two…. I replied nineteen months apart…… We looked at each other with that defeated smile and gave each other that empathetic nod….. “It’s hard isn’t it”? She almost half whispered….. “It sure is” I barely choked out as we both quickly broke our visual exchange perhaps for fear that one of us would drop our guard and burst in to tears  of exhaustion…..  After a pause I felt it necessary to say “hey how good are we as mums and how wonderful despite the difficulties are our babies, I love them so much, I truly wouldn’t have it any other way”!…… Suddenly her exhausted face broke in to a beaming smile and she replied with absolute love and certainty “same, its a beautiful perfect age gap really, isn’t it”?! ❤️

Good Morning Beautiful People,
THIS!!!! I’ve always loved Madonna despite the years of slut shaming she has encountered in the music industry!! I love how she inspires us in her speech to seek out support from other (strong) women!! This is one reason why despite my love hate relationship with social media I stay on here. Because there are so many intelligent, amazing strong women on here I love to learn from and connect with 💓 I don’t have an immediate tribe of strong women around so this is were I can draw on my feminine strength. I may not be the right ‘kind’ of feminist that others would want me to be but everyday I’m learning….. and as Madonna said maybe I’m just a “bad feminist” which I rather be than not one at all 😌 
I love this speech and I hope that my feelings are correct in sensing that there is a global shift in consciousness occurring, where women gather together to acknowledge their worth and power 💖💞💪🏼
P.S And despite being married half my life just like Madonna I have been slut shamed frequently too, even by so called friends… believe me when I say those comments stick with you for decades….. However also like Madonna (except without the exceptionally sexy and talented part 😬) I have always owned my confidence and sexuality!! Because it is mine to own and be proud of!!!! 😊❤️

#likeaboss #womeninmusic #womenunite #womanoftheyear #iwearwhatiwant #feministlife 💓

http://www.billboard.com/video/madonnas-full-acceptance-speech-at-billboard-women-in-music-2016-7624369

Hello Beautiful People,

Today is International Day For The Elimination Of Violence Against Women, in Australia recognised as White Ribbon Day: 
As a domestic violence survivor myself, as a woman who has supported and continues to support close female family members who have suffered decades of severe domestic violence and having had a best friend who experienced domestic violence, I need to say…..
BREAK THE SILENCE, END THE VIOLENCE!!!! 

Further to this as a survivor and a feminist I support White Ribbon Day because society and especially men (and particularly male perpetrators) need to be made aware and accountable for this evil pandemic of violence against women!! 
Although funds raised by White Ribbon do not go towards services for victims, they do go towards a prevention and awareness campaign, to stop the violence against women! Yes it is disgusting that this program is needed I’m outraged myself that it is needed however as with primary health care programs:
PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes more money is needed for victims services, believe me I truly know!! But sadly in some socioeconomic groups people (including women) are not even aware of what constitutes domestic violence, so education is often key to stopping the cycle of abuse……..
It took me nearly two decades to realise what I had experienced and witnessed was domestic violence……… If there are primary health programs about sexual health, drugs and alcohol etc then surely there is room for a program promoting the end to violence against women……..
Today I walked with my family in the White Ribbon Walk as I do every year……….. 
Because as a survivor (many years ago) and a strong feminist and activist of women’s rights, I NEED MY HUSBAND AND SONS to take the oath!!!! To help me feel safe, secure, loved, supported and respected in MY LIFE NOW!!!! 
My wonderful husband works tirelessly in his role continuously advocating for the safety of women and children!!! He and our sons take the oath with humility and a heavy heart that they even need to be doing this……. There is never any sense of bravado, only pure, honest hearted concern to set an example to other men about how women should be treated with absolute equality and respect!! 
Each walk I’ve participated in has been attended by nearly fifty percent of women, who like me feel strongly about this day…. Yes we still live in an age old evil world ruled by patriarchy and yes a lot of organisations are run by men who certainly should not have been allowed in those roles, however if we do not assign ourselves a role in these organisations and fight the fight from the inside and unite together as women and align ourselves with those few good men that truly support us then change will never be made………. Most men I’ve encountered at The White Ribbon event work dedicatedly in roles to prevent and protect women from violence and/or have had a loved one be a victim of violence…… To say all men that attend this walk and take the oath are self righteous is just inaccurate and plain sad……… Some of their stories are heartbreaking, some have had significant others lives lost due to domestic violence……. Everyone has a story………..It’s a shitty reality we live in……. But for me it’s been shittier and right now I can honestly say I’m really proud of the men in my life for showing their unwavering support to the prevention of violence against women and to ensure the protection of ALL WOMEN and encourae all men to do the same!!!!!
I’d like to express my absolute love and support to all those amazingly strong women who I know personally and all women out there who are survivors of domestic violence…. I’m so so sorry there are so many of you!! There shouldn’t be any of you………… 😔❤️
Everyone’s experience of DV is often completely different from another’s and how we come through it can be different or similar. However there are strength in numbers!! So I say I’m always here for any of you, if you need me to be!! As you’ve often been there for me!! 
I once had a ‘friend’ tell me perhaps I shouldn’t be so vocal about my ‘experiences’ because it ‘may make people uncomfortable’….. Needless to say she is a friend no more! 
I vow (as do all my family!) to ALWAYS BREAK THE SILENCE TO END THE VIOLENCE!!!! If I see something, I will ALWAYS do something!! As my good friend always reminds me, bad things happen when good people do nothing!!
I’m so completely sorry to all you beautiful women (especially those close to me who’s struggles I’ve witnessed personally) that we live in such a shitty society where we have to stand together and support each other to eradicate violence perpetrated towards us by men!! I’m so completely sorry that there are so many of you….. It truly breaks my heart….. And I can assure you all that I will always use every avenue, every means possible, every single platform I can to shout from the (glass) rooftop that THIS VIOLENCE NEEDS TO STOP!!!!! I will participate in any program, walk, slogan, catch phrase, tokenistic passing phase, ongoing, resource planning, self evaluation, self reflecting, self empowering, growth development, self improvement, social awareness, front line hands on, direct in the firing line, throw my body in front of yours type of action that it takes to change the patriarchal societal dogma that has us all believing that nothing will ever change and we will never be safe!!!! 
Yes it’s great to question and challenge where all these programs are coming from, where money is coming from for services, why men are still representing women in eliminating violence against women! In my mind any conversation about violence against women has got to have some slight positivity behind it because change happens when people discuss and evaluate information and situations!! Keep talking!! Keep challenging!! Keep the awareness going!! 
The more violence against women is brought out of the darkness the more it can no longer be ignored!!!!! Don’t shun any opportunity to promote The Elimination Of Violence Against Women just because a man may be organising or participating in the event!!! Attend the event!!! Take control of it and make it the angry uprising of WOMEN AGAINST VIOLENCE THAT IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!! 😡😈
Sitting around researching and gripping about how inefficient, inept, evil and corrupt the organisations, programs, governments, people in power are that are ‘supposedly’ effecting change in the process of eliminating violence against women can be useful but what’s more useful is actively getting out there to CREATE CHANGE!!!!! 
I know I do!! I can assure you that I have put myself in direct danger many many more times than I should have to protect myself and other women from violence inflicted on us by men!! 
And yes it is completely disgracefully bad that I have had to do this!!! Including just last week when Magenta and I stopped some monster  from bashing his partner in the middle of the street, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, whilst not a single other person intervened, whilst I had my babies with me!!!! Including several times of calling our local cops on the horrendous neighbour who kept beating his missus until he was finally locked up (thanks to the local police for getting that done!) 
I will never ever be an arm chair warrior! I promise I will always donate whatever I can to the desperately in need Women and children’s refuges (especially the two I lived in with Maggie 😌), I promise I will always volunteer my time at these services! I promise I will always volunteer to be the SA nurse if devastatingly and when you ever need one because I want to make sure you have one person in that room who can truly show you empathy and provide you with non judgemental strength and support at one of the most horrendous times of your life!! 
I promise I will continue to support my husband and sons to continue to be strong, gentle warriors who lead by example! Who show other men that women are equal and deserve respect and kindness! That they have never and will never ever have the right to lay a hand on any woman anywhere!!!! That they will continue to show other men wrong from right and that violence towards women is not right!!!! 
Because change should start with the men!! They should just not hurt, control, abuse OR MURDER WOMEN!!!!!! I don’t want to live in a society anymore were I feel sick in the stomach about whether my daughters , my sisters, my friends are going to be hurt or killed by a man!! I don’t want to feel sick in my stomach because of having to live in a society where I need to be hyper vigilant that my husband and sons are behaving appropriately towards women because from a young age rape culture has indoctrinated them to believe that objectifying, abusing and controlling women is ok!!!!! 
It’s great that people challenge organisations, systems, governments, religions, programs, beliefs directed at ending the violence towards women!!  The more people that do, the more we will be able to effect a change in society and this evil deeply ingrained male violence towards women culture that seeps in to every aspect of humanity will be eradicated like the putrid pervasive patriarchal disease that it is!!!!! 😡
But mostly I promise to always do everything I can to ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!! BREAK THE SILENCE!! END THE VIOLENCE!! 
I promise that if you ever need any help whatsoever I will be here for you………. Those that know me know I truly mean this……. 😌

Peace ❤️💪🏼
#endthesilencenomoreviolence #fightlikeagirl #iwillneverbeasecondclasscitizeninthisworld #girlpower #redmylips #toomanywomen #fightlikeagirl #whiteribbonday2016 #internationaldayfortheeliminationofviolenceagainstwomen #endthesilencestoptheviolence #illwalkwhereiwant #illwearwhatiwant #illsaywhatiwant #survivor #lovemyfamily #lovemylife #raisingkingsandqueens 

#nooshasbeautifulpeople ❤️😌