Posted in All The Bits In Between, Attachment parenting, Babies, Baby's, Birth, Body image, Family, Friends, Fun, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Peace, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sadness, schools, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Beautiful Mild Mannered Middle Son, Marley Kai โค๏ธ

Hello beautiful people,

Well it was bound to happen this week…. The eyes leaked a little ๐Ÿ˜Œ Valid reason of course! This day 13 Years ago I gave birth to my third child, my second son, my biggest baby, my second easiest birth resulting in my calmest, most relaxed easy going, always happy baby boy!
And yes our, now teenager and our littlest warrior princess’s birthday’s are only one day apart. Things like this happen in large families like ours. The beautiful part is I remember a year ago Marley saying to me “mum can’t you keep the baby in your stomach one more day because I’d love to share a birthday with my little sibling” He makes me laugh because he is such a kind hearted, gentle soul and yet really cheeky funny too. And he genuinely would have loved for his little sister to be born on his birthday! He would have thought it was the coolest gift ever! 

You see what people don’t realise about our Marley Kai is that for ten years he was our baby. He was always happy as a baby but as he got older he showed signs of being an empath early. He was always sensitive to the emotions of others around him, he seemed gentle, soft and vulnerable. And so as a family, and him being the baby, we all tended to do most things for him. And despite my best efforts for over ten years to get him some support, I was continually told there was nothing wrong with him and I should stop feeling concerned and comparing him to my older kids……. So thanks to all those specialists who told me to ignore my mothers instincts, I did stop pursuing assessments and support for my son. Satisfied that any ‘quirks’ I had concerns about were nothing to worry about. And besides, I knew nothing was ‘wrong’ with my son I just wanted to make sure he was getting the right support he needed to navigate his way through life and learning,  safely, comfortably and to the best of his ability. 

My concerns alleviated when he was ten were like a weight of my shoulders and so we decided we would continue to grow our family. Marley was overjoyed when he found out he was finally going to be a big brother and no longer be the baby. Having William was one of the best decisions we ever made!! From the day he was born despite the ten year age difference the obvious bond between Marley and William has been so heartwarming to watch. William is so highly energetic and quite clever and Marley is so very kind, loving and patient with him, even when he’s being incredibly annoying. Marley is also studious and bright and has taught his little brother so much. 

My baby boy has grown so much through the responsibilities of being a big brother and it’s been beautiful to watch!

The hard times came when he encountered some nasty comments from his peers in high school, such as taunts about being ‘weird’….. I guess I thought it was because he has a love of reading and online games and I was going to think nothing of it until we had to revisit the old chest nut that was the problem of his attention span…..

So exactly one month after his little sister Florence was born he had an assessment again at age 12 that confirmed ADD and High Functioning Autism (which back in the day when there was no Autism Spectrum, the diagnosis would have been Aspergers). 

I was shocked because I’d been told so many times before that I was looking for something that wasn’t there…. But none of this makes a difference to us, we still do what we’ve always done. No medication, regular OT, address sensory issues, extra time for tasks, appropriate use of technology, eye contact with good clear communication and of course my favourite lots and lots of love and hugs!!

Tonight I got teary because we were hesitant to have more babies despite wanting them. I worried about money, time and responsibilities towards Marley being my baby and needing me. Tonight I suddenly realised how absolutely perfect it has been for him to have his little brother and sister. Tonight I clearly saw the lovely brilliant minded, cheeky funny, quirky young man my beautiful son Marley Kai has grown into!

A kind, caring, intelligent soul, who is an amazing big brother, a cheeky little brother, a wonderfully loving son and a very much loved grandson! And if he’s seen as weird then that’s ok because in this family being weird means you’re cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž Because who wants to be the boring same as everyone else anyway! I bet you people called Bill Gates weird or different back in the day ๐Ÿ˜œ

So here’s to you my sweet mild mannered  brilliant beautiful minded son Marley Kai! You my son, you melt my heart, don’t overthink that or take it too literally, I mean you reduce my heart to tears of joy because I’m so blessed to have you in my life! Happy 13th Birthday my love! Me, dad and your brothers and sisters will always love you more than you ever say you love us and I know you know what I mean! Show the world how amazingly awesome we know you are! We love you more than all the universe and more than all the stars โค๏ธ

Posted in All The Bits In Between, Attachment parenting, Babies, Baby's, Birth, Body image, Careers, Family, Friends, Fun, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Pregnancy, Queens, Relationships, Sadness, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Toddlers

Beautiful Last Baby’s 1st Birthday ๐Ÿ’–

Hello beautiful people,

Once again it’s been a little while (too long perhaps) between posts. There are a few reasons behind this. I was very busy over the holiday season with my family, I was busy with school going back for my older children, that, came with some challenges, I was busy turning forty but mostly I was busy living each day in the moment! 
I had made a conscious decision that if I was going to get control over my sadness and anxiety that had snuck in and was holding on tightly to me from the moment I brought my beautiful last baby home from the hospital that I needed to focus on the present only. To live in each day and experience only that day for what it truly was instead of dwelling on the past and causing more depression or worrying about the future therefore increasing my anxiety.

I’m happy to report that this way of living has worked really well for me and in turn my family. I’ve felt so much more positive and in control of my thoughts, actions and life in general these last couple of months. In fact I’ve returned to the old me that completely and utterly loved the beautiful chaos that my life becomes when I’m a stay at home mum on maternity leave! I love how lucky and blessed I am and have been, to be able to have a whole year off work to stay at home and spend all my time nurturing, bonding, loving and mothering my last little miracle baby ๐Ÿ’– And even better still is that I’ve been able to keep my toddler who is now two and a half years old at home with us too. 

Sure at times it’s been really challenging, exhausting, overwhelming and isolating. However most of the time it’s been wonderful, full of many firsts and many lasts. First words, first giggles, first kisses, first steps but all these firsts will also be our last firsts because our little princess warrior turns one today! 

This is our last baby so it’s bitter sweet, I’ve reminded myself through all the tough times, the sleepless nights, the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the marathon feeding sessions, the teething, fevers, separation anxiety that I will never be this needed again….. It’s so exciting and heartwarming that our baby girl is one but at the same time it’s the first time in a while that I’ve felt close to tears and thought slow down years I need more time. I need to hold my last baby a little longer. I’ll pick her up whenever she cries, feed her whenever she wants, co-sleep as long as she wants, give her all of my attention and unconditional love as often as I can and as long as she needs me to… And this I have offered to her older siblings too because time goes so fast and I chose to have all these beautiful little humans so I will love protect and guide them with all my heart for as long as they need me to. 

I am fortunate enough that I can stay at home and care for my children as much as I want for as long as I want, however I will return to work on reduced hours soon.

But for now to stay in my happy place that I’ve built for myself,  out of the ashes of the ocean that I was drowning in late last year, I will live right now in this moment of my beautiful last baby’s first birthday! I will rejoice in her existence, revel in her love and bask in her light filled company. I will forever feel grateful and blessed that this day last year I gave birth to my last beautiful baby, a girl, a little sister to her big sister and four older brothers!

Happy 1st Birthday to our little warrior princess Florence Rey ๐Ÿ’– You are loved more than words ever could convey โค๏ธ

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Beautiful Madonna ๐Ÿ’–

Good Morning Beautiful People,
THIS!!!! I’ve always loved Madonna despite the years of slut shaming she has encountered in the music industry!! I love how she inspires us in her speech to seek out support from other (strong) women!! This is one reason why despite my love hate relationship with social media I stay on here. Because there are so many intelligent, amazing strong women on here I love to learn from and connect with ๐Ÿ’“ I don’t have an immediate tribe of strong women around so this is were I can draw on my feminine strength. I may not be the right ‘kind’ of feminist that others would want me to be but everyday I’m learning….. and as Madonna said maybe I’m just a “bad feminist” which I rather be than not one at all ๐Ÿ˜Œ 
I love this speech and I hope that my feelings are correct in sensing that there is a global shift in consciousness occurring, where women gather together to acknowledge their worth and power ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ
P.S And despite being married half my life just like Madonna I have been slut shamed frequently too, even by so called friends… believe me when I say those comments stick with you for decades….. However also like Madonna (except without the exceptionally sexy and talented part ๐Ÿ˜ฌ) I have always owned my confidence and sexuality!! Because it is mine to own and be proud of!!!! ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ

#likeaboss #womeninmusic #womenunite #womanoftheyear #iwearwhatiwant #feministlife ๐Ÿ’“

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Beautiful Survivorsย 

Hello Beautiful People,

Today is International Day For The Elimination Of Violence Against Women, in Australia recognised as White Ribbon Day: 
As a domestic violence survivor myself, as a woman who has supported and continues to support close female family members who have suffered decades of severe domestic violence and having had a best friend who experienced domestic violence, I need to say…..

Further to this as a survivor and a feminist I support White Ribbon Day because society and especially men (and particularly male perpetrators) need to be made aware and accountable for this evil pandemic of violence against women!! 
Although funds raised by White Ribbon do not go towards services for victims, they do go towards a prevention and awareness campaign, to stop the violence against women! Yes it is disgusting that this program is needed I’m outraged myself that it is needed however as with primary health care programs:
Yes more money is needed for victims services, believe me I truly know!! But sadly in some socioeconomic groups people (including women) are not even aware of what constitutes domestic violence, so education is often key to stopping the cycle of abuse……..
It took me nearly two decades to realise what I had experienced and witnessed was domestic violence……… If there are primary health programs about sexual health, drugs and alcohol etc then surely there is room for a program promoting the end to violence against women……..
Today I walked with my family in the White Ribbon Walk as I do every year……….. 
Because as a survivor (many years ago) and a strong feminist and activist of women’s rights, I NEED MY HUSBAND AND SONS to take the oath!!!! To help me feel safe, secure, loved, supported and respected in MY LIFE NOW!!!! 
My wonderful husband works tirelessly in his role continuously advocating for the safety of women and children!!! He and our sons take the oath with humility and a heavy heart that they even need to be doing this……. There is never any sense of bravado, only pure, honest hearted concern to set an example to other men about how women should be treated with absolute equality and respect!! 
Each walk I’ve participated in has been attended by nearly fifty percent of women, who like me feel strongly about this day…. Yes we still live in an age old evil world ruled by patriarchy and yes a lot of organisations are run by men who certainly should not have been allowed in those roles, however if we do not assign ourselves a role in these organisations and fight the fight from the inside and unite together as women and align ourselves with those few good men that truly support us then change will never be made………. Most men I’ve encountered at The White Ribbon event work dedicatedly in roles to prevent and protect women from violence and/or have had a loved one be a victim of violence…… To say all men that attend this walk and take the oath are self righteous is just inaccurate and plain sad……… Some of their stories are heartbreaking, some have had significant others lives lost due to domestic violence……. Everyone has a story………..It’s a shitty reality we live in……. But for me it’s been shittier and right now I can honestly say I’m really proud of the men in my life for showing their unwavering support to the prevention of violence against women and to ensure the protection of ALL WOMEN and encourae all men to do the same!!!!!
I’d like to express my absolute love and support to all those amazingly strong women who I know personally and all women out there who are survivors of domestic violence…. I’m so so sorry there are so many of you!! There shouldn’t be any of you………… ๐Ÿ˜”โค๏ธ
Everyone’s experience of DV is often completely different from another’s and how we come through it can be different or similar. However there are strength in numbers!! So I say I’m always here for any of you, if you need me to be!! As you’ve often been there for me!! 
I once had a ‘friend’ tell me perhaps I shouldn’t be so vocal about my ‘experiences’ because it ‘may make people uncomfortable’….. Needless to say she is a friend no more! 
I vow (as do all my family!) to ALWAYS BREAK THE SILENCE TO END THE VIOLENCE!!!! If I see something, I will ALWAYS do something!! As my good friend always reminds me, bad things happen when good people do nothing!!
I’m so completely sorry to all you beautiful women (especially those close to me who’s struggles I’ve witnessed personally) that we live in such a shitty society where we have to stand together and support each other to eradicate violence perpetrated towards us by men!! I’m so completely sorry that there are so many of you….. It truly breaks my heart….. And I can assure you all that I will always use every avenue, every means possible, every single platform I can to shout from the (glass) rooftop that THIS VIOLENCE NEEDS TO STOP!!!!! I will participate in any program, walk, slogan, catch phrase, tokenistic passing phase, ongoing, resource planning, self evaluation, self reflecting, self empowering, growth development, self improvement, social awareness, front line hands on, direct in the firing line, throw my body in front of yours type of action that it takes to change the patriarchal societal dogma that has us all believing that nothing will ever change and we will never be safe!!!! 
Yes it’s great to question and challenge where all these programs are coming from, where money is coming from for services, why men are still representing women in eliminating violence against women! In my mind any conversation about violence against women has got to have some slight positivity behind it because change happens when people discuss and evaluate information and situations!! Keep talking!! Keep challenging!! Keep the awareness going!! 
The more violence against women is brought out of the darkness the more it can no longer be ignored!!!!! Don’t shun any opportunity to promote The Elimination Of Violence Against Women just because a man may be organising or participating in the event!!! Attend the event!!! Take control of it and make it the angry uprising of WOMEN AGAINST VIOLENCE THAT IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ˆ
Sitting around researching and gripping about how inefficient, inept, evil and corrupt the organisations, programs, governments, people in power are that are ‘supposedly’ effecting change in the process of eliminating violence against women can be useful but what’s more useful is actively getting out there to CREATE CHANGE!!!!! 
I know I do!! I can assure you that I have put myself in direct danger many many more times than I should have to protect myself and other women from violence inflicted on us by men!! 
And yes it is completely disgracefully bad that I have had to do this!!! Including just last week when Magenta and I stopped some monster  from bashing his partner in the middle of the street, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, whilst not a single other person intervened, whilst I had my babies with me!!!! Including several times of calling our local cops on the horrendous neighbour who kept beating his missus until he was finally locked up (thanks to the local police for getting that done!) 
I will never ever be an arm chair warrior! I promise I will always donate whatever I can to the desperately in need Women and children’s refuges (especially the two I lived in with Maggie ๐Ÿ˜Œ), I promise I will always volunteer my time at these services! I promise I will always volunteer to be the SA nurse if devastatingly and when you ever need one because I want to make sure you have one person in that room who can truly show you empathy and provide you with non judgemental strength and support at one of the most horrendous times of your life!! 
I promise I will continue to support my husband and sons to continue to be strong, gentle warriors who lead by example! Who show other men that women are equal and deserve respect and kindness! That they have never and will never ever have the right to lay a hand on any woman anywhere!!!! That they will continue to show other men wrong from right and that violence towards women is not right!!!! 
Because change should start with the men!! They should just not hurt, control, abuse OR MURDER WOMEN!!!!!! I don’t want to live in a society anymore were I feel sick in the stomach about whether my daughters , my sisters, my friends are going to be hurt or killed by a man!! I don’t want to feel sick in my stomach because of having to live in a society where I need to be hyper vigilant that my husband and sons are behaving appropriately towards women because from a young age rape culture has indoctrinated them to believe that objectifying, abusing and controlling women is ok!!!!! 
It’s great that people challenge organisations, systems, governments, religions, programs, beliefs directed at ending the violence towards women!!  The more people that do, the more we will be able to effect a change in society and this evil deeply ingrained male violence towards women culture that seeps in to every aspect of humanity will be eradicated like the putrid pervasive patriarchal disease that it is!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ก
But mostly I promise to always do everything I can to ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!! BREAK THE SILENCE!! END THE VIOLENCE!! 
I promise that if you ever need any help whatsoever I will be here for you………. Those that know me know I truly mean this……. ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Peace โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ
#endthesilencenomoreviolence #fightlikeagirl #iwillneverbeasecondclasscitizeninthisworld #girlpower #redmylips #toomanywomen #fightlikeagirl #whiteribbonday2016 #internationaldayfortheeliminationofviolenceagainstwomen #endthesilencestoptheviolence #illwalkwhereiwant #illwearwhatiwant #illsaywhatiwant #survivor #lovemyfamily #lovemylife #raisingkingsandqueens 

#nooshasbeautifulpeople โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Posted in Babies, Birth, Body image, Family, Friends, Happiness, Health, Hospitals, Marriage, Mental Health, Mom life, Mum life, Parenting, Relationships, Sadness, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Beautiful Sadness

Hello Beautiful People,

Today is R U OK day…..

I know I’ve written before about being a beautiful faker at life but I thought I’d bring it up again in light of it being R U OK day.

See the fact is, I’m actually not ok……

It seems it’s really really hard for people to understand that, because (apparently) I’m the strong one.

The one that can handle anything.

The one that’s always, laughing, smiling, loving and helping others.
Those that know the full dynamics of my family and history know how strong I can and have needed to be. 

Unfortunately, even the strong ones can come undone. Especially when life is being exceedingly stressful, so I’ve discovered recently.

In the last two years I’ve had a very traumatic emergency c-Section. Which took nearly six months to recover from physically. And I’m still trying to recover from it emotionally. The result of which is a beautiful yet highly rambunctious, energetic little being.

A very quick subsequent difficult pregnancy. The result of which is a beautiful baby girl with severe reflux and colic that never ever sleeps. 

At the end of my last pregnancy my eldest son was hospitalised and very sick for a couple of months. 

Then the next boy down required emergency surgery the following month.

And then the following month the next boy down got a late diagnosis of ASD, after years of me asking for an assessment for him.

And history repeatedly haunts me at stressful times…….

I’m exhausted, depleted, drowning, burnt out……Burning…….

I’ve doubled my weight…..

Doubled my wrinkles……

I don’t even recognise me when I look in the mirror…… 

It’s actually really depressing……..

And I’ve lost nearly all my friends…..

I’m not sure why this last one has happened but I’m assuming that it’s because I’m no longer fun to be around….

I’m still surrounded by people though (all my kids of course) and yet most of the time I feel a slight lingering sense of loneliness….

When anyone asks me if I’m ok I actually say “no, I’m drowning”…..

People then look at me confused, surprised even……

Most people reply with “oh you poor thing that’s what happens when you have so many kids”, “you’ll be ok when you get more sleep”, “what you need is….Childcare….. a night out….. a cleaner…. a good nights sleep…..” 

And the ‘helpful’ advice goes on and on…

I told my GP I was feeling overwhelmed and sad, so she gave me a script for antidepressants…….. I don’t take paracetamol at the best of times……

She told me “there’s no point in referring you to a councillor, I know you’re too time poor to go”…..

I’ve told my nearest and dearest family and friends and they say the same ‘helpful’ statements as above…….

So asking someone if they are okay, seems very multilayered to me. You need to really mean it. Actively listen to the persons answer. And then respond carefully, thoughtfully and appropriately.

I know I will be okay because I AM ‘the strong one’, infact I am one of the strongest people I know……

And I’ve been here before……. 

And right now I’m still in the midst of the fire……Burning a little more before the Phoenix is born…….

I cry at ads, movies, pretty much anything. I yell at nothing….. My hubby and eldest are concerned (but somewhat annoyed too, inconvenienced I guess by my lack of happiness). My younger ones are somewhat hyper vigilant but still mostly (age appropriately) self obsessed…….

So if I seem distant, disinterested, different…… Just be kind, please…..I don’t do sarcasm, criticism or ‘useful’ words well these days……

And yes I have guilt about feeling overwhelmed and sad…….

I know there are so so many people out there worse off than me………

And I’m still so grateful for this beautiful life….. And my beautiful babies…… But I’m still allowed to feel……….

And besides, any emotion I’m experiencing reminds me I’m alive…….

So I’ll sit here for a while longer in the warm heat of this beautiful sadness…..

So I’ll just continue to breath…..

So I’ll just continue to try to eat healthy…

So I’ll just continue to try to get fit……

So I’ll just continue to try to get more sleep…

So I’ll just continue to pretend to be happy …….

Because I believe if you fake it you make it…..

And if that’s all it takes to be me…….

I’ll just continue to keep doing what it takes just to be…….

Until I’m ready for the Phoenix to arise out of the sadness through to the other side ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’›

Posted in Babies, Baby's, Birth, Black lives matter, Death, Family, Friends, Health, Houses, Marriage, Parenting, Peace, Race, Racism, Relationships, Self love, Society, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Beautiful Black Lives โค๏ธ

Hello Beautiful People,

I know it seems that I’m wading in on this important issue a bit late but there are several personal reasons for me not speaking up until this week. Reasons that I have worked through and that have enlightened me. So it seems now is the time that, sadly, I need to voice where I stand on a very difficult racial topic.

Yes I love my husband, his friends and colleagues and yes we are a part of the blue family. But we were white before we were blue and we loved blacks before we were blue and we still do. Some of those blacks still love us back too even though we are white and now we are also blue….

Because colour doesn’t and shouldn’t matter. But it does…. And we are part of  a blue family that can and does consist of beautiful people, men and women who are caring and have families. People who feel empathy and sadness towards others. People who feel sadness, anger, hurt and frustration at the current climate and unnecessary deaths…. A lot of these people are a part of this community, some of them, like us have grown up here. Some are, have family, friends or neighbours who are Aboriginal. Sadness is felt by all of the good  blue people, but today is not about them. 

Today is about some of the most heartbreaking and tragically unnecessary deaths of some beautiful black lives. Indigenous lives, here and all over the world……

This week marks the four year anniversary of the death of a family friends daughter. A childhood friend of my own daughter. A beautiful young Aboriginal girl still in her teens. One who never ever showed me her ‘bad’ side despite so called evidence and hearsay about her behaviour. I always only ever saw a sweet, shy, soft, vulnerable young girl. A teenage girl, who, like all teenagers, was going through a bit of a rough time and could easily be swayed by others behaviours. This time every year I grieve for her along side her devastatingly heartbroken family…..   And although it is alleged that she took her own life, most of us know the trauma she experienced leading up to that desperately sad decision……RIP Molly, no words will ever be able to describe how much you are loved and missed………

Sadly this week, we have also seen the death of another Aboriginal teenager. A young boy. Dead at the hands of an adult white male murderer. This barely made the news. When it was reported on the media focused on the boys alleged criminal behaviour and not the fact that he was murdered!!  My heart is breaking….. Literally breaking…… If I think about it too much I cry….. And yet I can’t stop thinking about it………

And I can’t stay quiet anymore…… Despite my fear of upsetting those I love and hold dear, I need to speak up! In fact I need to shout out!! I was confused about whether I should, could or had a right to take a stand. Until recently, when, of all places to have an epiphany. I felt my blood boil, my brain overload and my heart nearly explode……As I burst in to tears in the middle of the Macklemore concert whilst he was singing White Privilige II…. And right then I realised…


With all the reading and research I’ve done, history has not been kind to our beautiful black brothers and sisters. In fact, historically, us whites, have been down right evil to those of colour.  Attempted genocide, slavery, segregation, oppression, kidnapping, rape, murder and constant racial profiling. 

And I’m ashamed and heartbroken to be a part of this privileged white middle class…. Class… Farce…. A bunch of people that are the main perpetrators of this evil ugly behaviour….Hiding behind the guise of…. but I’m not racist, yet we turn a blind eye…. Too scared to speak out… Fearful of the controversy and repercussions…… Yet in our silence we continue to watch beautiful black lives die……

๐ŸŽผ We take all we want from black culture but will we show up for black lives?๐ŸŽผ (Macklemore, White Privilege II)

I used to think saying #alllivesmatter was valid until I starting doing my research…..  

Reviewing journal articles and assignments from an elective University subject on Indigenous Studies that my husband and I took years ago so we could be more informed (because to this day not enough information is accurately covered in any high school curriculum about our nations beautiful black history. Indigenous history is barely mentioned in our schools despite our nations very long and brilliantly beautiful black history). Reading various media reports shared by my more informed peers. And mostly talking to my beautiful friends…… 

And one or two comments throughout these conversations really drove the message home…… Or more so punched me in the guts and left me with a terrifying sick sense of fear for my friends, fellow humans……Fear for them that to this day I can’t shake….. Comments like “I moved here (to Oz) because it’s more accepting, but I still fear for my brother, and think things like, please don’t let him get shot”…….. And it’s words like these that make me realise why I’ve been wrong….. Because I know these people personally, not just through a  t.v screen and they are beautiful…… And it’s terrifying……..And it’s black people dying…… For what?!….. Trivial things…… For nothing…… Murder for power….. Maybe out of frustration or fear…… But it’s still murder……Are we any better than the U.S?! Maybe, not by much…..

And now I know I was wrong……

Because saying that #alllivesmatter undermines the desperately important message that needs to be shouted out, understood and heard, for there to be justice and peace for these people. And an end once and for all to these senseless deaths………….. ๐Ÿ’”




๐ŸŽผ Your silence is a luxury, hip-hop is not a luxury , Your silence is a luxury, hip-hop is not a luxury, What I got for me, it is for me, What we made, we made to set us free ๐ŸŽผ

 (Jamila Wood, ftd in White Privilige II) 










Posted in Babies, Baby's, Birth, Family, Friends, Fun, Nursing, Parenting, Parenting Styles, Pregnancy, Relationships, Society, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Beautiful Chaotic Lunchdate ๐Ÿ’—

Hello Beautiful People,
It’s been a couple of very busy weeks the last two weeks. And luckily, mostly fun outings, great company and beautiful weather. I was lucky enough to go in The Sydney Color Run with a small team of the beautiful Wonder Women that I know, I’ve been to bbqs, playgroups and Oztag.  However today I was lucky enough to be invited to a lunch/play date with some beautiful women that I know, Doctors and Nurses from my work, who are also new mums. 

I decided to go at the last minute as I knew I would be the only one there with a toddler and a baby. I still haven’t placed master two in any form of Childcare, for a few reasons. One, I haven’t liked any that I’ve seen so far. Two, I didn’t want to put him in care the minute his baby sister was born because I didn’t want him to feel like he was being palmed off because of the new baby. Three, I figured if I was going to be at home with bubba he may as well stay at home with us as well. Four, have you seen the cost of Childcare?! And Five, I’m just not sure I’m ready to let anyone else look after him….. That is until today’s lunch date…
Myself, master two and baby princess enjoyed a relaxed 40 minute drive to a lovely restaurant with an indoor children’s play land to meet our friends. Once there master two was his usual seriously hyped up overdrive excitable self. In other words he ran away from me the minute we got there! My friends of course were amazing and accomodating and looked after bubba on the several occasions I had to suddenly run off after speedy toddler. I barely got to sit down and chat or enjoy these beautiful women’s company or even really meet their babies! I spent the majority of my time with two year old in the indoor play land. I even finished feeding bubba in the play land so I could continue supervising toddler. There were a few moments when I felt like a few other parents may have thrown a sympathetic glance my way as it truly felt like I had the most energetic chaotic toddler in the whole place. 
I remarked to my friends that it was hard juggling both bubba and toddler, especially trying to meet both their needs. To this one of my beautiful friends said ‘of course and especially catering to a toddlers developmental needs at the same time as looking after a baby’…… Then minutes later another beautiful Mumma I didn’t know said to me in the play land, ‘two year olds are a lot of work aren’t they, especially when you can tell they are getting bored by their destructive behaviour’ she was looking at her own son when she said this….. But it made me wonder…….
At the end of lunch, the lunch I barely got to eat, chat or even sit down at, one beautiful friend gave each of us mums a homemade bib, they’re so beautiful. And another beautiful mum paid for our lunch and we said our goodbyes. I felt so spoilt.

Both baby and toddler left the restaurant easily enough and were asleep within five minutes of being in the car. Whilst driving home I got a bit emotional thinking about how my boy is probably a little bored and ready for some stimulating Childcare and I probably really deserve to have a nice non chaotic Lunchdate occasionally! But mostly I’m just always in awe about how blessed I am in my life to have such beautiful children, despite the chaos, and to know such beautiful people as these women. Even new mums can give me sound advice to remind me about my choices in life. It’s so brilliant to be blessed with this beautiful chaotic life. So I shall continue my Childcare quest with a renewed sense of optimism. Thank you beautiful mummas for your genuine kindness ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’–