Fun – Page 3 – Noosha's Beautiful People

All The Bits In Between, Family, Fun, Health, Hospitals, Houses, Income, Moving, Music, Nursing, schools, Society, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Trial By Society

Posted on March 23, 2013March 23, 2013 by nursenoosha

Hello Beautiful People,

Well as I said in my last post it has been a very busy couple of months, both for me personally and for our country!!

Lets see how our country has been busy. Some of you, for starters may be wondering why the cute and cuddly image of a pink care bear above has been tainted by the bomb in its hand and the giant ‘A’ for ‘Anarchy’ on its belly?! Well I thought it was a fitting analogy for what some of the events that have recently taken place in our country can be likened too!!

Firstly, our Government, currently the Labor Party are in *power* being led by the infamous Julia Gillard. Is it just me or did this party recently become more of a circus side-show act than they have ever been?! Watching the news reports over and over again about the party experiencing internal discord and leadership challenges was for me, incredibly embarrassing!! It was like watching a group of little kids arguing and saying “no, everybody likes me better, so we should play my game” Hhhmmm shame shame shame all the Politicians need to grow up and set a better example to the members of society, that they are leading, not squabbling!!! So back to the bear, Julia reminds me of the bear, feminine, slightly, strangely adorable, (perhaps because she’s the first female Prime Minister we’ve ever had or perhaps cause she’s a ranga, yep I secretly love them too!) and so like the bear, cute, yet somehow exuding the energy of someone who potentially is (whether it be directly or indirectly) in sighting some sort of disharmony or anarchy even within her own party!! Interestingly enough despite our governments constant bickering within the parties and between the parties it is satisfying to reflect and note that our country comparative to the rest of the world has seen great economic stability whilst others have come crashing down!! And yet we as a nation watch our leaders fight and berate each other with predictions of doom and gloom if they themselves are not in power!! Maybe the politicians will only be happy if the country falls into a nation of Anarchy…… 😉

On the notion of a nation of anarchy we shall move on from our politicians and address the recent issue of societies response (and mine) towards an incident involving a police officer and a civilian at the Mardi Gras parade in Sydney………

The above YouTube Video was uploaded and circulated around two days after the Mardi Gras when this incident took place, it went viral almost immediately. Watching it made me feel sick and disappointed in this particular Police Officer and I was genuinely disgusted, at what I perceived to be, as an obvious use of excessive force!! I made my opinions strongly known on my Facebook page despite several people I care about being in the Police Force. I didn’t care if I offended anyone because I hate violence, I’m a hippie at heart and any form of violence reduces me to tears. Yet this clip made me angry, it made me so angry I wanted the world to know that I supported this poor little whimpering kid in his gold sparkly shorts and that the Police Officer should be severely reprimanded!! I too, like Julia, had good intentions at heart but had become the *A* for Anarchy care bear!!!! I’m cuddly and sweet and love everybody, everybody that is except this horrible aggressive Policeman! I was not alone, a lot of my peers, who I perceive as peace-loving people, kind, intelligent, compassionate people were also shouting ‘hate crime’ from their rooftops and demanding justice for this ‘poor innocent’ boy who was brutalised at the hands of this Policeman!! Only two people challenged my very public opinion on the matter and I was confronted by these challenges publicly and unexpectedly……. those two people, Anne and Sean, I’ll always respect you both and be in awe of the strengths of your personalities. It seemed like everyone I knew agreed with me and that this man was the victim of excessive Police force and there was a trial by society brewing that this Policeman should be dealt with and discharged immediately.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/nsw/youll-make-it-worse-for-yourself-new-footage-shows-mardi-gras-teen-kicking-at-officers-20130308-2fp79.html

The above link shows a snippet more of the full picture of the circumstances surrounding the incident in which this young chap was arrested and thrown to the ground. Its interesting of course that this footage is incredibly hard to find and has had nowhere near the million or so hits that the previous footage that was first put on YouTube had as it went viral….. Turns out, after this boy agreed to do some media interviews, that he knew he wasn’t behaving appropriately but he did think the Policeman was heavy-handed with him….. Further investigation and some not so widely spread news reports have confirmed that the boy was acting unruly and behaving like a public menace. One eye-witness later came forward to say that the boy was seen obstructing the path of an ambulance trying to get to a patient, that he was touching people on the backside that he didn’t know and then very publicly resisted arrest and tried to fight off several Police Officers while he was hand cuffed….. As I said, very limited footage showing this but there is some around!! And yet the general consensus of society was *FTP*……… Maybe we all secretly want anarchy so we can all go around assaulting each other and fending for ourselves……

I want to make it clear that I still think that the footage of the Policeman taking that guy down does look bad and in a perfect peaceful world (that I have created in my head) he would have gently lowered him to the ground and carefully restrained him (perhaps with a cuddle thrown in). The extra footage shown to me, the news reports displaying the boys behaviour and some cool people I know calmly explaining to me how it feels in those situations and the training they are given to deal with people resisting arrest has made me (very very red-faced!!) come full circle to say, I don’t want Anarchy…. Perhaps I want to be the care bear with the heart on its tummy……

Perhaps, for me to be able to live in a world where the idiots on the streets creating chaos and anarchy need to be dealt with appropriately, there may need to be care bears that are braver than me who can handle having to use a little force when necessary…….

Everyone in our country has their opinion on how things should be run and how law breakers should be dealt with, myself included. However if we are not going to actively involve ourselves in being the changes we want to see in our society then we have no right to sit back and create a trial by couch sitting critics…… If you don’t have the political knowledge to run the country and you don’t vote, then don’t complain about the leaders screwing it up!! If you don’t know the law and don’t/cant (because of your criminal history) work as a Police Officer then don’t judge unless you can show you can do it better!!

I espoused my opinion on the Government and the Police as though my opinion was the best and most accurate and then was forced again to reflect on my pompous opinions…….. Self reflection is often hard because none of us ever like to admit that we are wrong or look at aspects of ourselves that we might need to change, cause lets face it we all think we’re pretty awesome huh? I reflected on my opinions of the government and how the country is being run and my very public opinion on this incident with the boy and the Police Officer because of a few recent incidences I experienced myself whilst at work. I was in some situations that required me to use my own critical thinking on my feet and fast, decisions were made outcomes were good and yet opinions and judgements were flying left right and centre. My pride was hurt and I couldn’t understand why people weren’t just telling me how awesome I was……….

Upon reflection………..WE ARE NOT CARE BEARS!!!! WE ARE HUMAN!!!! 🙂

Which means we do the best that we can, we make rash decisions in the heat of the moment with the best intentions, at least most of us do, and sometimes those decisions will leave people judging us. Criticising or critiquing our actions if you will and we can choose to react emotionally and hold onto that judgement or opinion and become resentful towards society or we can choose to use that information as a learning lesson. Arm yourself with the knowledge that others are trying to impart on you, learn from your mistakes or choices and move forward in strength.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!! Knowing all the facts and all your options will set you free and make you a better person (not care bear) 🙂

We truly live in a lucky country, Liberal, Labor or Greens, NSW, VIC, or QLD Police, I still feel lucky that we do not live in a war-torn country with Militia and Guerilla armies or corrupt Governments (for the most part)!!!

Happy judging, Society!!!

Peace, Love and Happiness 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxox

All The Bits In Between, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Houses, Income, Moving, Music, Nursing, Sea change, Spiritual, Uncategorized

I’m back…..or am I? PTSD or Controversy?

Posted on March 21, 2013March 21, 2013 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

Well its been a long time between sharing and caring really, so where to start……… Lets see my last Blog was about a sea change and a whole lot of whining about waking up feeling flat and cranky for no obvious reason other than some petty challenges in life such as money and accommodation………or so it seemed…….. The last four months that I haven’t shared have seen me through some even more challenging times causing me to embark on a whole new level of self-reflection…….remember that notion, self-reflection, something I harped on about the importance of in a previous post, well I digress so back on track, the last few months have seen me deal with challenges such as having to go part-time at work due to family commitments (enhancing previous financial problems), daughter experiencing some challenges with uni work, sister tackling life changes, beautiful mother confronting and challenging the big ‘C’ and small boys dealing with learning difficulties…….Now I’m no super woman but am relieved to say that these challenges were tackled courageously, albeit with some tears, plans have been implemented and things are moving forward in positive ways. All these challenges got me thinking, how is it that when life was plodding along without any drama for me to deal with I was feeling more anxious and flat than I should have been, particularly in regards to where we were living? Yes the house was tiny and the kiddies had no backyard to play in and all the boys were sharing a room, however these things certainly weren’t enough reason for me to be having mini panic attacks every time I had to go home……….

On top of all these recent challenges I was lucky (truly, truly lucky) enough to secure the lease on a bigger house right across the road from the property we were last living in. I saw the house become vacant, applied for it and within a week had signed the lease and moved seven years worth of an entire families lives across the road into a gorgeous hundred year old cottage, at least twice the size of our previous house!!!! The first night sleeping in the new house I felt an instant sense of peace and happiness, calmness. I kept thinking how lucky and blessed we are to have such an amazing house and how happy the space made me feel………. I quickly realised it wasn’t the ‘space’ (size) that made me feel happy it was ‘the’ space, the nature or the essence of the space, it encompassed calmness and happiness and positive energy.

*Insert flashback here* Why did my old house not feel like this? Why did it promote feelings of anxiety? Had I always felt like that about my old house, how long had I been having those feelings?

Its April 24th 2011 and I’m in my dining room with two of my best mates, Stu is at work and the kids are asleep….. We’re laughing, talking and playing a trivia game, the three of us are relaxed and having a cool time……. My mate stands up says she’s not feeling well, me and her boyfriend look at her concerned and say what’s wrong? She drops……she’s not breathing……no pulse……I look at him panicked, he doesn’t know what’s going on and he’s frozen…….. I ring triple O…… I do CPR for ten mins…….nothing…….I hold her………crying………first car crew of paramedics turn up……..nothing……….second car crew of paramedics turn up………. nothing……..I’m still crying…………..

Is it controversial to allude to the fact that I have self diagnosed with PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder)? Yes I’ve had counselling, who wouldn’t when they lose a close friend like that…… I suppose quite a few people really……..however nobody ever suggested that I may have PTSD because I’m and ED nurse I deal with death all the time……… Hhhmmm actually it really is easier to detach yourself from someone you don’t know. Death at work is hard but nowhere near as hard as losing someone you really care about. My recent months of self-reflection in my cosy beautiful new house have made me really consider the possibility that I have been dealing with a bit of PTSD. That’s even if its possible to have just a bit of PTSD and not a lot of it…..it seems only fair that it comes in different degrees depending on the trauma experienced by the person and how resilient or not the person is. The old house holds so many good memories, of kiddies first steps and birthday parties, and sadly all I see now is pain, gut wrenching heart-break……… Mini anxiety attacks about walking through the front door or being alone in there………. Nonsense really or completely warranted or maybe even controversial……….

Its coming up to two years muffin and I miss you like crazy……. I know your bf does too……….We still always talk about you……..And spending time with your family always gives me a great sense of peace and happiness……..I know what you’re thinking……. Suck it up princess……..But don’t forget……. I know the sweet you…….the one that sent me msgs at night, saying hug a baby for me Nooshie………I don’t think about you as much as I want to cause it’s still too painful………

I’ve been waking up feeling grateful to be living this wonderful life, despite all the recent challenges we’ve faced as a family. I’ve had great support from friends and my family have really pulled together to support each other. All the new challenges and the move into our new home have really helped me reaffirm that I am a really strong resilient person. I know me and enjoy being me, PTSD or not! The things in life I’m most grateful for each day are the wonderful moments I get to spend with my loved ones and the amazing moments I experience frequently at work, through helping others!

I think I’m back to being me without the worry and anxiety…….or am I ‘back’ to being me? Maybe I’ve become a stronger better version of me…….. Oh of course I have, no controversy about that……

Sooooo remember what we used to say when we went shopping and complained about the clothes not fitting us………lol

Lets fake it till we make it baby 🙂

Never take anyone you care about for granted people because one day it might be too late to tell them how great they are!!

So for now, again I send a big shout out to all the amazing people in my life you all know who you are!! However in particular my kiddies, Stu, my mumma, Brennos (always and forever here for ya!), my sisters and all my beautiful mates!!

And if you haven’t seen my new house yet, it’s definitely worth a visit!! So beautiful, warm and happy!!

Today and for as long as it takes, I’ll be wearing my poker face 😉

Peace, Love and Happiness xoxoxox 🙂

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Hospitals, Houses, Income, Moving, Music, Nursing, schools, Sea change, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Sea Change Anyone?

Posted on October 21, 2012October 21, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

I have woken up cranky for the last three days. It’s not really like me. I’m on my days off from work and had lots of things planned, things I wanted to achieve. However I’ve spent the better part of the last three days feeling sorry for myself, chasing kids around and tackling never-ending mounds of housework.

The tribe and I live in a teeny weeny pocket-sized town house in the trendy (and ridiculously overpriced!!!) Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. The hubby and I are both in government employed jobs, receive average wages with no benefits……. Yep that’s right I said government jobs with NO benefits!! No dental, no medical, no rent or mortgage assistance, nothing!! And yes tax payers dollars pay our wages but we pay tax too, and a lot of it, so technically one could say we are paying ourselves too. If Peoples taxes didn’t pay our wages who would do our jobs? Yes we do our jobs partly for the love of them but we need to survive too!

So I think I’m waking up cranky in our poky little house because I’m exhausted from working so hard for an average wage and not even being able to afford to live somewhere I am happy to be or that actually fits my family. We have three children sharing a bedroom that you couldn’t swing a cat in (no offence to our fury loving friends) let alone make their beds or put their clothes away comfortably. Decision made after much debate about whether or not it was okay to expect teenage daughter to share with younger brother, conclusion no because apparently boys stink!

The area itself is surrounded by beautiful beaches, we are fifteen minutes away from Sydney’s infamous Bondi Beach, and parks designed with great play equipment to keep kids entertained for hours.

Not five minutes up the road from us is a hospital campus with some of the best Children’s, Women’s and Adults Hospitals in Sydney.

We are only a fifteen minute drive from Sydney’s central business district, including the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge, Hyde Park and Centre Point Tower.

We are spoilt for choice with both public and private, Primary and High Schools and have several excellent Tertiary education facilities around!!!

All these great things within half an hour of where we live!! So why would I wake up cranky?

Most weeks consist of hubby and I having opposite rosters, he works days I work nights, yes the old analogy of ships passing in the night fits us perfectly.

School fees, rent prices (that are through the roof, average 3 bedroom house between $600-$1000 per WEEK, which would pretty much take up one of our whole incomes leaving us the bare minimum to live on) food bills, utilities, soaring petrol prices and just general constant increase in cost of living is making it harder for us to stay living in the area that we grew up in.

To buy a house requires a 10% deposit, average house price in area is $700000-$2million…..hhmmm paying the rent we do with all other expenses I would like someone to please explain to me how we are supposed to save a deposit that is more than our annual income?

Someone said to me just start by saving $10 a week and in my head my really mature subconscious said “derrrrrrr $10 a week would take a bazillion years to save the deposit I need” Yes my subconscious is also good at maths!

I have pondered on how my friends that live in the area have afforded to buy properties here. It occurred to me that several of them have inherited houses. Inherited money for the deposit, had family help with the deposit, had some kind of windfall for the deposit. Or lived with family until they were nearly thirty so they could save, buy and rent the property out to pay it off. All of these options not available to me. Besides I’d rather have family around then lose them to inherit money or a house (not saying anyone was cheering about their lose when they got their inheritance, so don’t get your knickers in a not!! And I was independent when I was a teenager so there was no living with my mum until I was nearly thirty!)

I’ve talked about the beauty and the benefits of the area so it only seems fair to point out some of the pitfalls, other than the ridiculous cost of living here!

For a small area it is grossly over populated on a hot summers day you are hard pressed to get a towel sized patch of beach without awkwardly rubbing against the leg of the stranger next to you who is just trying to catch some rays too. For a largely overpopulated area having grown up here, there is pretty much nothing you can do or say that someone who knows someone will be talking about you the next day. The crime rate is increasing at an alarming rate, believe me!! The property sizes for the price you pay are ridiculous. The peak hour traffic can see you at a stand still in your car for an hour on a journey that should take you no longer than ten minutes!!

Yes people can say why didn’t you save before you had kids to buy a house, well plain and simple I had kids before I was prepared to have them and I grew up in rental properties and wasn’t really taught about the great Australian dream of owning my own home, until the realisation dawned on me that renting is dead money!!

Phewww that’s a lot to think about, no wonder I’ve been waking up cranky. Note to self don’t ponder on what you don’t have before you fall asleep!

So options to overcome this, include put my blinkers on and ignore the desire to own a home, one that actually comfortably fits my whole family or…………….move!!

One small word with so many complications………move………

This effectively means looking at suburbs outside of Sydney, trying to choose one that we like, one that we can afford, one that has all the benefits of the area that we are currently in.

It also means addressing the issue of how far away are we willing to move? What about the grandparents and Aunt that we will be leaving behind, that we love so dearly? What about leaving behind all our friends? What about new schools? What about our jobs? Will we have to find new ones? If we do will the new rosters be worse or any better? Surely they can’t be worse!

People say to me, just move away, have a sea change if you don’t like it you can always come back, ever so casually. It sends my mind into a spin thinking don’t they realise the difficulty surrounding their statement? Don’t they realise that if it was that easy we would have done it by now!

Then there is one of the biggest obstacle of all…………..The teenager!!

Noooooooo you can’t make me move to some small crappy town, I’ll have no friends, I’ll be bored forever, How will I be able to have any kind of life, Why would you do this to me, I wont come??????

And that’s it right there!!! Those three little words that stop all this process in its tracks!!! I wont come….

So, never leave a man behind, no daughter moving with us, means no moving. Yep I am that overly involved in my children’s lives, no I am not yet ready to let any of them go.

I dream of a sea change, where I can wake up relaxed and not cranky and enjoy the view from MY living room!!

I dream of a sea change, a small coastal, partially rural town, with a one man lock up and a little local hospital. A beautiful lush green headland for never-ending picnics above the deep blue ocean lapping at the shore. A little local school that has a great community feel, where all the teachers know the students by name and all the mothers are friends.

I dream of a sea change where the Australian dream is real and a piece of land with a quaint family home on it is a steal……………………..

Have you had a sea change?

Where did you go?

How did it turn out?

Is the grass greener?

Or should I just stay and battle it out with the over crowded streets, over flowing bedrooms and wardrobes, paying nearly all of one wage to live in a house that is too small that we don’t own?

Peace, Love and Happiness xoxoxoxox 🙂

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Music, Nursing, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Self Reflection

Posted on September 23, 2012September 23, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

These last few weeks have been so eventful that it seems I have barely had time to sit and quieten my mind. The ups and downs, highs and lows in life wash over us like the constant undulating waves in a choppy ocean. One can start to feel sea sick and emotionally overwhelmed with what life throws at us. At this point I feel its time to stop still on the shore and look out at the sea and source out the calm peaceful energy that one needs to remain centred in rough tides.

Self reflection is a concept that was taught to us all throughout our studies at University. The concept of being aware of the self in relation to ones professionalism, surroundings, mannerisms, behaviours and interactions with others is something that we are taught to be aware of and self evaluate in regards to these areas. However it is something I have always endeavoured to do throughout my life as I have always felt the eyes of society judging me (and not in a paranoid way of course). So many young women are socialised and raised with constant media barrage portraying images of how women should look and behave and on numerous occasions throughout my life I have been told things such as “shouldn’t you loose some weight”, “a lady shouldn’t speak like that” or “girls shouldn’t dress like that or play that game” and to this I would always say ‘really, why?” “Where is the rule book and where in it does it outline how a girl should behave”? I guess Ive always gone against the grain when it comes to how a woman should behave. I speak out for those that don’t have a voice, I’m strong minded and opinionated and I openly show affection! For some reason these qualities I openly embrace seem to make people feel uneasy, so I see its self reflection time again….

As far as I see it if I’m not hurting ANYONE then why cant I do what I want? These kinds of statements and images have lingered in mind and I have seen the long term damage to other women that I have been close to, be ruined by the random need for others to pass judgement or expectation on other women!!

I by no means am perfect and in regards to recent extensive self reflection have been wrestling with the notion that perhaps I am a massive hypocrite……… I always wish for peace love and happiness for all, I truly do from the bottom of my heart, with the utmost sincerity I feel the pain of so many others when I know I shouldn’t and I wish them peace and happiness despite not knowing whether they really deserve it or not.

My best friend and I used to refer to ourselves as bleeding hearts or rather crassly as “hire a griever” because we are so emotional and forgiving at times that we could attend the funeral of a complete stranger and be reduced to tears in mere minutes. However, here’s the hypocrisy………..

If you were to hurt me or anyone I cared about I would probably rip your head of with a barrage of verbal abuse in about zero to no seconds and then…….. (And yes I know there are people out there that can vouch for this) …….. Five seconds after that moment of judgement and anger I will be crying at the guilt I feel and the pain I feel in regards to my reaction and the possible pain my victim may be feeling….

Upon self reflection I am tough, I am a survivor, a survivor of way too many things to be on this page…… At times I am judgemental much to my own disappointment!!! The best and most honest part of me is my kindness and compassion!!! I feel proud to say that at least most of the time the good wins over the evil in me!! I don’t want to be racist or prejudice and I certainly don’t ever want to judge people, its not my job to.

There have been so many sad and challenging things happen lately in our lives and in our city that the heated discussions around me are flying rapidly, like a whirlwind of theories and opinions vying to win. Why does one person do one thing one way and another do it a different way, who is to say which way is right, it is human nature for us to all behave differently. At the end of the day though wouldn’t the world be so much of a better place if everyone could stop taking themselves so seriously and realise that we ALL deserve respect and peace!!

Respect and peace on an individual level and on a global level!! Self reflection is an amazing thing when the world is spinning and I feel I have lost sigh of who I am and someone appears to be insinuating that I am a fraud or a stupid hippie I take time out to engage in some self reflection. So to clarify, I am not a fraud, I am who I am and yes that is ever changing and I may be a bit of a hippie but I’m certainly not stupid 🙂

I try most of the time to be up front and honest because I believe that its important to be who you want to be free from judgement, hatred or envy. I am never really envious of anybody because quite frankly I think its pretty awesome to be me, if anything I would just like to be a better version of me, perhaps a little skinnier, less chaotic or spontaneous… and even so immediately after writing those words I think, in whose opinion, cause really its the chaos I thrive on that makes me, me 🙂 Are these negative thoughts and self talk all laying dormant in the subconscious filed away under the category of ‘previous insults’ to be used and brought forward when feeling flat, insecure or unhappy…….

I do prefer honesty from others though there is a way and a way, if you do not agree with someone’s actions voice it in a way that may be constructive to future actions, not destructive. You do yourself and your cause no good by behaving badly. If you feel strongly about a certain event, that may or may not have directly invovled you try to discuss it with someone that may have first hand experience or information on the incident that may be able to discuss, educate or even enlighten you to the true facts, please do not engage in ideal gossip or misguided anger.

At very rare times as Ive said I do judge but briefly and then I feel sadness because who am I to think I am better than anyone else!! Usually my judgement is not based on the belief that I think I’m better than anyone else it is usually motivated by the belief that my behaviour or life choices are better than others. So are they? Am I really a better person because I would never encourage my child to carry a placard condoning violence? Or because I really try hard not to live my life participating in petty gossip? There are always two sides to every story and I will usually only know my side until I go out of my way to truly find out and understand the other side. I have no time for secrecy, spying or passing judgement!! I would much rather be out there in the world living it, feeling it, breathing it!!! I would much rather have a heated debate about what you think of my opinions that have you judge me behind closed doors where I am not afforded that chance to defend myself. Perhaps even allow me the chance to take on board your judgement and use it to self reflect and maybe even better myself. Yes some things we say or do will unintentionally hurt, shock or offend others but it is their reaction to our behaviour, so are we suppose to change our behaviour due to a persons response?……..

Perhaps we should at least self reflect on our behaviour if it shocks or offends someone. Should we change or stop if it hurts someone? If it hurts them emotionally? If it hurts them physically? Some people may respond to this question with a definite yes! However some people can move on from their emotions being a little bit hurt, others may not be able to. It seems fair to say that no-one should be allowed to physically hurt another person, no self reflection needed, just don’t do it! (Unless your that way inclined of course, boxers etc).

So what I am trying to say is, we all need to take time out occasionally to sit back and partake in a little self reflection. We all find it so easy to pass judgement on others and assume that our way is the right way but what is right for one may not be right for another.

There are some behaviours I see in people that as I said earlier initially frustrate me and make me wildly angry and then instantly I feel sad, sad for them that they feel so empty or frustrated themselves that they feel they need to behave in such a desperate way! Every human deserves to live in peace, free from judgement and fear. Free from feeling that if they don’t look or behave a certain way that society may not accept them. Never judge a book by its cover, try turning the pages to uncover the layers of what could be a beautiful soul. Never go on hear say or subscribe to the theories of the masses, find out the truth or the facts and decide for yourself. That’s what I always try to do, I always endeavour to make people feel safe enough in my presence to show me who they really are, no facades. I don’t want false interactions, I always try to live by ‘what you see is what you get’. If I’m feeling great I will tell you and if I am feeling sad I will tell you. I know to some its hard to be who they really are and they may be more private and prefer not to show their true emotions and that is okay too. At the end of the day though we are all human and we all experience widely the same kinds of emotions and I feel that as a global community if people could learn to express themselves emotionally more freely and without judgement the world would be a better place. It would be a better place because people would quickly realise that they are not alone with their feelings, so many others may feel the same way and this can lead to people being able to support each other better.

I know my honesty and openness emotionally can make people uncomfortable, Ive seen people blush in my presence or even had them request I “tone it down a bit”, however this is pretty rare mostly people respond well to my random hugs, of course using self awareness and reflection I don’t hug patients, unless they go in first lol 🙂

I guess this process of regular self reflection always leads me back to thinking am I being the kindest most understanding, compassionate person I can be because these are the qualities that mean the most to me. Of course sincerity is right up there too because there is nothing worse than someone showing a persona that is calm, kind and non-judgemental just to hide that they are really thriving on sitting on their private make believe pedestal looking down their noses at people and passing judgement every chance they can…… Am I sometimes guilty of being part of this group? I have a gorgeous friend who’s catch phrase is “Don’t they know who I think I am’? (Copyright to PJ 🙂 ) and I think this is fabulous and appropriate to her and I laugh every time I hear it and yet to know her is to know that she will extend kindness to anyone that reaches out to her. I believe its ok to be self complimenting and appreciative, what is so wrong with being proud of who you are? Why do people feel threatened by those that exude confidence? Yes there is a difference between being confident and arrogant, however who determines what behaviour fits which category? What one person may interpret as arrogant another might view as a strong sense of self confidence.

Taking a moment to self reflect has made me look at aspects of my personality that may be misconstrued as arrogant. Yes I think I’m awesome!! No I don’t think I’m better than anyone else!! Yes at times I feel like I am less than others, especially when I feel they are negatively judging me…… However I quickly remind myself that for whatever reason at that moment they feel they know me well enough or they have the need to pass judgement on me and it is there prerogative to do that and mine to walk away with my head held high maintaining my sense of self dignity and self worth.

Am I self evaluating enough? Have I called you a bitch recently? Maybe…. I can honestly say that if I have then I didn’t mean it and now regret it and probably feel really bad for hurting you. Especially because my main motivation in life is to be a healer not a deliverer of pain. I truly want peace, don’t you? I want my children to be raised in a community where it is ok to be praised, loved and supported! Recently there has been a debate circulating around regarding whether or not we are setting our children up for failure by over praising them? To this I say WTF? I again undertook some self reflection on this topic. Am I a boastful parent? I don’t really think so, I recognise their achievements and praise them for them. I try to always praise them so they have good self esteem and feel confident enough within themselves to make good life choices. Why would you not want to praise your children? Do people really think that by praising them we are setting them up with false hope or expectations? Is it unrealistic to say, ‘hey of course you can be anything you want to be” Why cant they be anything they want? Are we wading into a debate that has become to politically correct? All children are innocent victims of their environment and learn by what the elders around teach them. If we teach them that they are limited by our opinions of them then of course they will not strive to be better than a mediocre version of themselves.

So many areas of self reflection lately, politics, religion, parenting, nursing, professionalism, relationships, freedom, judgement and ME!

Politics always fascinate me and I have always undertaken to learn as much as I can about the various political parties and movements to keep track of where my state, national and Global community might be heading. To this all I have to say, somewhat ambiguously, some people in power inspire and impress me and others….well…lets just say they scare me.

Religion also a topic I have forever been fascinated by, I have as well as a few of my friends throughout our lives delved into several different religions trying to find the one that fits us best. The outcome of this being that there doesn’t seem to be one that completely envelopes all that appeals to my system of beliefs. I believe in a God (perhaps because the thought of no God and no heaven is too painful for me) that is a nondenominational God that does not pass judgement on people based on gender, race, sexual preference, cultural and spiritual beliefs; A God that protects all children from abuse and neglect, providing them unconditional love and protection always; A God that commits to ending all this pain and suffering that is becoming so prevalent; A God that will instill respect, compassion, love and Peace in the hearts of ALL humankind!! I pray to GOD THAT A GOD LIKE THIS REALLY EXISTS!!

Self reflection on parenting has brought me to the conclusion that, yes I do swear on occasion in front of my kiddies however they understand and respect the rule of ‘do as I say not as I do’. Yes on occasion they probably eat to much junk food and probably don’t do enough homework. Aside from all of this (without being boastful, only truly honest because I would be the first one to tell you if they were being little shits!) I think it is fair to say that I have parented with a firm loving hand providing them with constant unconditional love. Instilling the knowledge and boundaries in them so that they know how to respect themselves, me and others. They are loving kind compassionate children that would never raise a hand to me or others (except very occasionally to each other but hopefully they will grow out of that). They are average students academically and I am fine with that! They are average sporting participants and I am fine with that too! Parenting for me has always been and always will be about loving, protecting and guiding!!

Self reflection on nursing has led me to the conclusion that yes it was always meant to be!! Despite the hours, the pay, the difficult patients or colleagues aside from my family it will always be my one true love!! Furthermore, yes I could do to undertake some refresher courses especially in the areas of pathophysiology and pharmacology!!

Self reflection on professionalism has driven me to think about how I conduct myself at work sometimes and to be self aware about how I am communicating with people when trying to get a job done. Sometimes my chaotic personality can make things seem more urgent than they need to be……

Self reflection about relationships is ongoing and ever changing, people grow constantly and as I said in my recent Blog on friendships, they can be fickle and fantastic. I feel I’m in a good place right now with my relationships, there seems to be a nice balance of people around me who understand me and I them 🙂

Self reflection about freedom has me drawing to the conclusion that although we are some of the freest people in the world, we are only as free as we allow ourselves to be. I know a few of you understand what I’m truly saying. We are held back by our fears of what others may perceive us to be. We deny ourselves the luxurious freedom of being who we truly want to be for fear of being judged and denied by society.

Which leads me to my final area of self reflection, judgement. Am I a hypocrite? Do I wish for no-one to judge me and yet allow myself to judge others? I truly try not too! I certainly have discovered quickly and this may come as a shock to those that don’t know this about me, but I would certainly much rather sincerely pay another person a compliment than sarcastically refer to them as ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’!!!! Just so you know I don’t think its funny or a term of endearment to refer to me as either of those words, as far as I’m aware they were words designed as insults and as such I can never be comfortable with them being used towards me as terms of endearment!! I am not, have not been and never will be anyone’s ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’. I feel uncomfortable and sad when women think this is an ok and acceptable way to speak to each other. As Ive said before if I have ever said it to you I would have had to been pretty angry to call you that. Is it so ingrained in women that we aren’t allowed to support each other or pay each other compliments or feel self pride? Or is it just the Aussie way now that women can only express mate-ship by referring to each other using derogatory words? Hhhhhhmmmmm maybe I’m too much of a princess or hippie but I doubt it because I know I can be a real bitch when I need to be but it is rarely! Anyway I have digressed of the topic of judgement a little and so to wrap it all up, people are free to refer to each other as they please as long as both are in agreement that it is ok and one is not feeling judged by the other.

Self reflection, is it really all about ME? Of course it is and sometimes taking a good hard look at yourself can be really confronting. Do you like what you see? Have you done it recently? Perhaps your burning desire to constantly judge others comes from your unhappiness with what you see when you look within yourself…..

One of my favourite sayings of all time is “Be the change you want to see in the world” (words written motivated by a speech given by Mahatma Gandhi)

Self reflection is all about me, when I am the one doing it, however it prompts me to look at how I fit and interact within my world and I enjoy analysing how my life is going. I like the challenge of trying to recognise the areas that might need work and addressing them. It is often my biggest critics that motivate me to self reflect and to them I say thank you! Today you have been my muse 🙂

Yesterday I was Me

Today I am Me

Tomorrow I will be Me

I am the Me

You think You know

The Me I am is everchanging

The Me you think You know

The Me I am always learning

The Me you think You know

How can you know Me?

If I don’t really know Me

Yesterday I am Me

Today I am Me

Tomorrow I am Me

And you think You know Me

So I guess the day after tomorrow, We both shall See…….

Peace, Love and Happiness 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Nursing

Friendship

Posted on September 15, 2012September 21, 2012 by nursenoosha

Growing up I attended a small local public school in Bondi, it had a great community feel and most of the children that went there lived in the area. Friendships were formed between nearly everyone at the school, being a small school it was easy to get to know and be mates with everyone. As we local kids got older most of us attended the same local high school, again a fairly small school. Friendships were still maintained and some new ones were formed. There never appeared to be any significant social dramas, no obvious issues with bullying and over all everyone seemed to get along quite well often hanging at the beach together in the afternoons and on the weekends…….

Or was this all just on the surface, a giant friendship facade or fairytale. Did I forget to mention the bitching behind each others backs about how so and so stole blah blahs boyfriend and how he said you said blah blah so now she’s going to get you……. Friendships, like any relationships, intimate, family or other, are hard to establish, achieve and maintain. I still in my adulthood find myself nursing the broken heart of another failed friendship. So why does this happen? Perhaps I have unrealistic expectations of how friendships should go?!

I see one woman’s facebook who is always going overseas and having weekends away with her girlfriends and they all look so happy and joyous. They look like they are having an amazing time with not a care in the world, like a bad word could never be said between them……Who are these lucky people that have known each other their entire lives and support each other unconditionally through breakups,marriages, births and deaths?!

I feel I have a few close friends (probably could count them on one hand) that I could count on to be there for me through those times and I mean really count on!! The type of friend that you can call on any time of the day or night and they would be there for you immediately. I believe I’m that type of friend, however sometimes I feel like I’m the back up friend, the friend that only gets called if no-one else is available or because I’m the ‘fun’ one, or the one that will pretty much do anything with and for you…….

So how do I let my friendships develop like this and then dissipate, well I think I start out being the fun one that will do anything for you and then after awhile it becomes exhausting so I become burnt out which in turn leads to boring. Boring leads to no longer fun to hang with or be around.

Another natural progression Ive observed in friendships as one gets older is the tendency to get caught up in the busyness and chaos of everyday life and forgetting to touch base with friends until it seems like to much time has passed and then the friendship seems to have been lost.

Sometimes I see friendships lost or strained due to new relationships being formed. People who were once great friends loose touch when one of the people in the friendship begins a new relationship with someone and then all their time becomes tied up with their partner. So what is the etiquette here?, Do you let the person know that you miss spending time with them? Is it necessary as an adult to tell a mate that you miss hanging out with them the way you used to? Is it immature? How does one maintain a once perfectly good friendship with someone once they have begun a new relationship? Are adults even allowed to long for normal healthy friendships? Why does it feel so shit when you realise that your in a friendship were perhaps the person really doesn’t care as much about the friendship as you do?

So here’s another friendship dilemma, you’re in a relationship already and have some great single friends who you like to go out with, however every time you do go out with them, they end up spending half the night trying to talk to and seek out other single people and end up completely ignoring you in the process, even though you’re only there to see them. So is it an unreal expectation to want to hang out with a mate or some mates for the night without them ditching you to try and pick up someone?

I don’t know what the friendship guidelines are however I do know that I have one or two friends who although we don’t see each other for months its like we haven’t missed a beat when we do eventually catch up. Then there’s the friends that you also actually do care about who you say to “we should catch up” and they say “yeah for sure we should”. And you never do so you assume its because both your lives are so busy and just like in school you hear that their child had a party or a concert or something that you felt sure you would have been invited to but you weren’t, am I over thinking it or am I just not as good a friend as I thought?

Wow one would think that this whole drama with friendships would be something that we out grow? So I guess that to add further complication to the issue of am I a good friend or not is the idea that friendship does get second place to relationships as we get older. It seems most of my friends will gladly whinge about their partners when they are not around however instantly if they are there the choice between time with them and friends is simple. It makes sense though right, you chose your partner because they have (well hopefully) all the qualities you like in a person so why would you not want to spend all your spare time with them instead of friends?!

Whatever happened to the old analogies of “bros before hoes” or “chicks before dicks” as crass as these expressions are I interpret, and correct me if I’m wrong, that they mean to say don’t replace your mates with a new relationship. In this day and age is this a realistic expectation? Who would rather spend time with their friends than their partner? Is there no middle ground? Wouldn’t life be all the more fulfilling and rich with various people in our lives?

So where is the obvious middle ground, why cant you have your partner and your friends too? What happens if your partner doesn’t like your friends or vice versa? What happens if your partner or your friends force you too choose? Who would you choose, a friend of ten years or a partner of two?

You know what I say, never make someone choose because I suspect that if you do you may well be the one that looses. However if the partner or friend really think your worth it I guess in the end they will make time for you!! So at the end of the day people, young or old my take home message is this, friendship is hard and fickle. So if you have been privileged enough to be classified by someone as a good friend respect and appreciate it.

So saviour the true friendships you have, decide on the ones which are worth fighting for and let slide the ones that seem like too much work with little in return.

And to all those true friends of mine

The ones that have with stood the test of time

The ones that have seen me through thick and thin

Kerry, Kristy, Sue, Alison, Jessie, Maggie, Phill, Brennnos, Dave, PJ and Din

With you guys my feelings I’ve never had to hide

And yet you have remained by my side

All your support, advice and kindness

Has always made me feel like our friendships were timeless

Days may pass without a word spoken

And so this right here is a small token

Holding dear in my heart is this true notion

That despite time and distance our friendships will never be broken.

Peace Love and Happiness :o)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: