Family – Page 4 – Noosha's Beautiful People

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Hospitals, Houses, Income, Moving, Music, Nursing, schools, Sea change, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Sea Change Anyone?

Posted on October 21, 2012October 21, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

I have woken up cranky for the last three days. It’s not really like me. I’m on my days off from work and had lots of things planned, things I wanted to achieve. However I’ve spent the better part of the last three days feeling sorry for myself, chasing kids around and tackling never-ending mounds of housework.

The tribe and I live in a teeny weeny pocket-sized town house in the trendy (and ridiculously overpriced!!!) Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. The hubby and I are both in government employed jobs, receive average wages with no benefits……. Yep that’s right I said government jobs with NO benefits!! No dental, no medical, no rent or mortgage assistance, nothing!! And yes tax payers dollars pay our wages but we pay tax too, and a lot of it, so technically one could say we are paying ourselves too. If Peoples taxes didn’t pay our wages who would do our jobs? Yes we do our jobs partly for the love of them but we need to survive too!

So I think I’m waking up cranky in our poky little house because I’m exhausted from working so hard for an average wage and not even being able to afford to live somewhere I am happy to be or that actually fits my family. We have three children sharing a bedroom that you couldn’t swing a cat in (no offence to our fury loving friends) let alone make their beds or put their clothes away comfortably. Decision made after much debate about whether or not it was okay to expect teenage daughter to share with younger brother, conclusion no because apparently boys stink!

The area itself is surrounded by beautiful beaches, we are fifteen minutes away from Sydney’s infamous Bondi Beach, and parks designed with great play equipment to keep kids entertained for hours.

Not five minutes up the road from us is a hospital campus with some of the best Children’s, Women’s and Adults Hospitals in Sydney.

We are only a fifteen minute drive from Sydney’s central business district, including the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge, Hyde Park and Centre Point Tower.

We are spoilt for choice with both public and private, Primary and High Schools and have several excellent Tertiary education facilities around!!!

All these great things within half an hour of where we live!! So why would I wake up cranky?

Most weeks consist of hubby and I having opposite rosters, he works days I work nights, yes the old analogy of ships passing in the night fits us perfectly.

School fees, rent prices (that are through the roof, average 3 bedroom house between $600-$1000 per WEEK, which would pretty much take up one of our whole incomes leaving us the bare minimum to live on) food bills, utilities, soaring petrol prices and just general constant increase in cost of living is making it harder for us to stay living in the area that we grew up in.

To buy a house requires a 10% deposit, average house price in area is $700000-$2million…..hhmmm paying the rent we do with all other expenses I would like someone to please explain to me how we are supposed to save a deposit that is more than our annual income?

Someone said to me just start by saving $10 a week and in my head my really mature subconscious said “derrrrrrr $10 a week would take a bazillion years to save the deposit I need” Yes my subconscious is also good at maths!

I have pondered on how my friends that live in the area have afforded to buy properties here. It occurred to me that several of them have inherited houses. Inherited money for the deposit, had family help with the deposit, had some kind of windfall for the deposit. Or lived with family until they were nearly thirty so they could save, buy and rent the property out to pay it off. All of these options not available to me. Besides I’d rather have family around then lose them to inherit money or a house (not saying anyone was cheering about their lose when they got their inheritance, so don’t get your knickers in a not!! And I was independent when I was a teenager so there was no living with my mum until I was nearly thirty!)

I’ve talked about the beauty and the benefits of the area so it only seems fair to point out some of the pitfalls, other than the ridiculous cost of living here!

For a small area it is grossly over populated on a hot summers day you are hard pressed to get a towel sized patch of beach without awkwardly rubbing against the leg of the stranger next to you who is just trying to catch some rays too. For a largely overpopulated area having grown up here, there is pretty much nothing you can do or say that someone who knows someone will be talking about you the next day. The crime rate is increasing at an alarming rate, believe me!! The property sizes for the price you pay are ridiculous. The peak hour traffic can see you at a stand still in your car for an hour on a journey that should take you no longer than ten minutes!!

Yes people can say why didn’t you save before you had kids to buy a house, well plain and simple I had kids before I was prepared to have them and I grew up in rental properties and wasn’t really taught about the great Australian dream of owning my own home, until the realisation dawned on me that renting is dead money!!

Phewww that’s a lot to think about, no wonder I’ve been waking up cranky. Note to self don’t ponder on what you don’t have before you fall asleep!

So options to overcome this, include put my blinkers on and ignore the desire to own a home, one that actually comfortably fits my whole family or…………….move!!

One small word with so many complications………move………

This effectively means looking at suburbs outside of Sydney, trying to choose one that we like, one that we can afford, one that has all the benefits of the area that we are currently in.

It also means addressing the issue of how far away are we willing to move? What about the grandparents and Aunt that we will be leaving behind, that we love so dearly? What about leaving behind all our friends? What about new schools? What about our jobs? Will we have to find new ones? If we do will the new rosters be worse or any better? Surely they can’t be worse!

People say to me, just move away, have a sea change if you don’t like it you can always come back, ever so casually. It sends my mind into a spin thinking don’t they realise the difficulty surrounding their statement? Don’t they realise that if it was that easy we would have done it by now!

Then there is one of the biggest obstacle of all…………..The teenager!!

Noooooooo you can’t make me move to some small crappy town, I’ll have no friends, I’ll be bored forever, How will I be able to have any kind of life, Why would you do this to me, I wont come??????

And that’s it right there!!! Those three little words that stop all this process in its tracks!!! I wont come….

So, never leave a man behind, no daughter moving with us, means no moving. Yep I am that overly involved in my children’s lives, no I am not yet ready to let any of them go.

I dream of a sea change, where I can wake up relaxed and not cranky and enjoy the view from MY living room!!

I dream of a sea change, a small coastal, partially rural town, with a one man lock up and a little local hospital. A beautiful lush green headland for never-ending picnics above the deep blue ocean lapping at the shore. A little local school that has a great community feel, where all the teachers know the students by name and all the mothers are friends.

I dream of a sea change where the Australian dream is real and a piece of land with a quaint family home on it is a steal……………………..

Have you had a sea change?

Where did you go?

How did it turn out?

Is the grass greener?

Or should I just stay and battle it out with the over crowded streets, over flowing bedrooms and wardrobes, paying nearly all of one wage to live in a house that is too small that we don’t own?

Peace, Love and Happiness xoxoxoxox 🙂

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Family, Health, Music, Nursing, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Mental Health Month

Posted on October 17, 2012October 18, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

October is Mental Health Month.

http://www.mentalhealth.asn.au/

On a professional level, as a nurse, to me this means promoting good mental health, making sure people take the time out to let go of stress, relax, unwind, clear your thoughts and enjoy life for a moment. Reflect on where you are in life and whether or not you are in fact happy and experiencing good mental health. Mental Health Month also means promoting understanding and awareness for those in the community that live daily with Mental Illness.

The emergency department is often a place where those who are experiencing a mental health breakdown will present for treatment. Often these patients present scared, paranoid even, delusional, timid, aggressive, intoxicated and possibly even physically injured through self harm or assault. Plain as day these patients present in an incredibly vulnerable state!! I would like now to be a timely reminder to health-care workers to self reflect and remember your commitment to provide non-judgemental, compassionate, professional care!! And if you feel you are burnt out and cannot cope with a patient that is experiencing a mental health breakdown, then for your own mental healths sake, step aside and let one of your colleagues take over!! I feel disheartened when a patient with a mental illness who has self harmed or is paranoid and non-compliant is being judged by health care workers!! If you cant provide holistic care then don’t be there!! A person may appear to you as someone aggressive and yes you need to protect yourself however imagine how terrified they must be feeling to be reacting in such an inappropriate way. Mental Illness is just that, its an illness, they are sick and need help they do not choose to have these feelings, thoughts or behaviours, they are not well!! Its pretty rare that someone would consciously make the decision to behave in a paranoid, inappropriate way or self harm.

Anyway I’m no mental health expert, in fact I must confess that I find it confronting too at times, however more so because I feel sad at my lack of understanding of mental illness. There is just so much to know and sometimes the person that knows the most is the person that has been living with it for years.

Today I was invited to the premiere of a community film called ‘Voices Speak, Lives Change’ it was the project of a group called ‘Working from the ground up’ initiative of Sydney University and University of New South Wales in a collaborative effort with various other groups. The film was shown at the Ritz cinema in Randwick.

http://www.jnc.org.au/Publications/WFGU_Flyer.pdf

The motivation behind the film was to promote, raise awareness and (hopefully) to initiate action/change in the challenges faced by people with Mental Health Issues living in Social Housing in the Eastern Suburbs. The movie interviewed and touched on the lives of thirty four volunteers/participants willing to share their lives and stories in a very personal way.

http://www.jnc.org.au/

On a professional level I can distance myself from the emotional roller-coaster that may try and drag you into its thrilling ride of highs and lows, professionally I can resist the temptation.

On a personal level I will always love someone with Bi-polar………..

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/bipolardisorder/causes.cfm

Mental Illness is like a cancer that wont go away, it can be treated but its laying dormant there under the skin, buried beneath the haze of medications, therapy and sometimes drugs and alcohol. Its not my area of expertise because I never wanted it to be.

I only want to know the person I love for who they are and not what their diagnosis is.

I know you and that is all I need to know, I know the highly intelligent, very artistic loving creative woman. I know the great cook, patient mother, loving, giving, self sacrificing soul. I know the poet, the song writer, the singer, the digital media producer, the ever creative being. I know you have Bi-polar and you don’t mind talking about it and of course neither do I, however you are so much more than just your diagnosis.

The movie was great and heart breaking at the same time, people in the community with mental illness who at times have felt vulnerable and powerless were given a voice!! They spoke of feeling lucky to live in such a nice area with beautiful beaches, they also spoke of feeling targeted and unsafe at times. This made me feel sad that people felt unsafe in their own homes because they are misunderstood. They requested community awareness about how their behaviour is sometimes out of their control and at times like this they need help not judgement.

Mental Health Month is not just about asking someone if they are okay or assessing them for a diagnosis, its about really reaching out to each other. To ensure you achieve good mental health yourself and to help others feel good and achieve and maintain good mental health too!!

http://www.mentalhealth.asn.au/images/MHM2012/mhm%20factsheet%20final%20text%20with%20graphics.pdf

For all that you do in our community as a volunteer to help others despite knowing at times you may need help yourself, for all your courage in promoting Mental Health Awareness, I will always be in awe of you!!

For all that you’ve been through and continue to go through, despite how weak you feel at times, you will always be one of the strongest people I know!!

People remember this, the neighbour crying out for help, the person on the bus next to you or the patient you are treating is someones family member. A grandparent, mother, father, sibling, aunt, uncle or cousin, someone somewhere loves them and though their behaviour may be challenging they should be treated with respect and afforded the same sense of self dignity as you and me. Please people remember don’t antagonise someone who is already mentally vulnerable.

Mental Health Month is about everybody being allowed to feel safe and happy in their own lives!!

For you sissy, love you dearly, remember when you use to sing this to me xoxoxox

Peace, Love and Happiness 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Health

National Police Remembrance Day and Sniper.

Posted on September 29, 2012September 30, 2012 by nursenoosha

The kiddies love to hear this story as I’m sure a lot of kiddies do in other families, that is the story of how their parents met. As a teenage girl struggling in life with the social and academic pressures of high school I didn’t do as well in my last few years of school as I would have liked to. To obtain the marks that I needed in my final school results to get into university I went to Tafe and undertook another course to get the marks I needed. At Tafe I met a whole different social circle of friends than those that I had gone to school with. One day during our lunch break a few girls from my course and I were sitting outside in the common area and the girls were telling me about a party that I had been unable to go to recently. They were saying how the party was really cool and the guy whose birthday it was was a really nice guy. I expressed my disappointment at not being able to make it and then the conversation quickly turned to another topic.

If I recall correctly I believe we were then talking about one of the girls’ cats that had been sick and had passed away. At that moment a boy appeared standing in front (and almost above us, as we were sitting on the ground) and said “Is this a private conversation, or can anyone join?”……….. I looked up but could barely see because the sun was in my eyes and said “you can join if you like but it’s not the happiest of topics”. Just then the sun disappeared behind the clouds and standing in front of me was this gorgeous, at least six foot tall, guy with big brown eyes and brown hair tied back in a shoulder length pony tail (hey what, it was the nineties you know, long hair on boys was cool!!). One of the girls I was sitting with started chatting to the boy as if they were old friends and I was a little confused. Then the boy said “oh sorry I haven’t meet you yet, have I?” He promptly reached out his hand to shake mine and I felt my face flush. How very polite and confident, and good looking he is, I thought to myself. Just then one of the girls interrupted and said “Oh yeah Noosh, this is Stu the guy that had the party we were just talking about” and I said “Oh Ok” as I thought to myself, damn now I really wish I had of made more effort to go.

I snapped out of daydreaming and overheard that the conversation had digressed to everyone making plans to meet up before a Tea Party Concert (Canadian Band, amazing music!!) that was coming up soon. I hadn’t had any plans on going and just as I was about to say that I wasn’t going, Stu said to me “Are you going?” and I said “No I don’t think so, I can’t really afford it this week”, “Oh really, that’s a shame, hey I can pay for you if you want to come?” he said. I was taken aback by the offer but pretty stoked at the same time; I mean I had only known the guy for five minutes!!!! So I said “we can call it a loan and I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, yeah?” “Ok if you want that’s fine by me” he said, with this massive big cheeky grin on his face, almost as if he was poking fun at me trying to be independent or not come across as if I was taking handouts.

So it was decided that I would drive as I was the only one with a car at the time and everyone else had already planned the night before I blew in, I thought it was a kind gesture of me to be the designated driver. Of course later in the evening I was cursing myself for offering when I was eyeing the bar and all I could drink was soft drink.

I had picked Stu up first then the others so it was him and I in the front of the car and he was so easy to talk to and really funny. The concert was amazing and we all had a good time and afterwards I drove everyone home and it just so happened that the last to be dropped off was Stu because he lived the closest to me………… And the rest is history 🙂

We have been together nearly half our lives throughout which(ten of those married) life has been a myriad of amazingness!! Times full of laughter and tears, happiness and heartache!! Always coming through the other side together. We have been together and supported each other through, births, adoptions, separations, break downs and deaths of those close to us. The births together have been amazing, the adoption stressful and amazing, the separations, breakdowns and deaths of those around us have only been survived by having each other……

We finished our Tafe studies and headed into our university studies. Stu began a Bachelor of Music at, yep as I tell people all the time; I thought I was marrying a rock star!! But it wasn’t to be…….

After several attempts at various studies and career paths, I believe he has found the career that suits him perfectly. One of the proudest and I won’t lie, scariest moments of my life was watching my husband graduate from the Police Academy, where he was given the nickname Sniper for receiving an award for shooting. It’s a career he chose with the hope that he would be able to help those that could not help themselves and protect people. He chose this career with the utmost selfless and good intentions. I know his heart and I know his mind and these are the reasons and motivations for his career choice. All the reasons that make me feel pride and love for him.

What really saddens me is the common public misconception that all police are control freaks out to get them or give them fines or tickets. Just to clarify a lot of police men and women are caring everyday people that have families do and are just doing a job. A job that is under paid, overworked and very often thankless!!

My husband works ridiculous hours, twelve and eight hour shifts all over the week not pattern or sensible rostering. He often works nights and sleeps all day. My husband and his colleagues do a job that so many are quick to criticise but would never have the guts to do! They work to protect the very people in the community that are quick to judge and insult them. They give people who break the law chance after chance after chance until that moment from frustration they snap and use necessary due force to control the offender and of course instantly its splashed all over the media about brute force…… This saddens me. Let’s celebrate the everyday heroes that have to deal with the pain of delivering death notices to families, or that attend domestic after domestic desperately trying to protect a woman from a violent partner that she refuses to leave!!

These are the things that my husband has to deal with on a day to day basis and I know he is tough, as I’m sure his workmates are too but how long do you think it takes for a genuinely kind soul to turn cold? How much crime, violence and badness does it take to make you angry or feel hopeless with frustration? How much distrust, verbal abuse, exploitation and under-appreciation do my husband and his colleagues have to endure until they are broken?

Coming from my hippie stock of course it doesn’t seem a true fit to be married to a cop and of course at times some of the politics involved baffles me. But let’s just remember people it’s not the police we see on the streets that make some of these stupid rules its the big wigs and politicians. But I don’t want this page to wade in on the debate about good cop/bad cop, or which laws are good and which are bad. I’m not here for that discussion today.

This page is a living tribute to my beautiful boy!! To the man who puts up with all my crap, my mood swings, my rushing out at two in the morning to help someone he doesn’t necessarily feels deserves it but knows it goes against my nature to deny them.

To my husband that is the most patient, kind and loving father in the world! To my husband the Police man you make your whole family proud! To my husband, that at times I don’t seem to appreciate enough, you are my hero. You are funny, kind and sincere. At times your shy and people mistake it for rude, but I know you. Your humble about your physical strength and will probably die of embarrassment after reading this line, but hey remember that time I watched you carry a three hundred litre fridge on your own!! The gentle giant the kids call you as they climb onto your lap for cuddles.

These last few years have been really tough and we’ve come through, I’ll always be here for you! I’ll support you and keep you grounded if I need to, I’ll always love you and remind you of the wonderful person that you are.

I’ll always feel a lump rise up in my throat every time you walk out the door for your next shift. I’ll always hold my breath every minute your late after you’re supposed to be finished your shift. I’ll always be proud of you! I’ll never ever (despite my hippie stock) be ashamed to say my husband is a Police Officer.

Today is National Police Remembrance Day.

Today I take a moment to remember all those Officers whose lives were taken whilst they were performing their duties.

Today I take a moment to remember those men and women who lost their lives tragically and way to soon just doing their job.

Today my heart goes out to all the loved ones left behind.

Today I pray for the continued protection for those that spend their lives protecting others.

Today I pray that my husband always returns home safe.

Peace, Love and Happiness xoxoxoxoxox 🙂

All The Bits In Between, Birth, Death, Family, Fun, Health, Music, Nursing, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Self Reflection

Posted on September 23, 2012September 23, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people,

These last few weeks have been so eventful that it seems I have barely had time to sit and quieten my mind. The ups and downs, highs and lows in life wash over us like the constant undulating waves in a choppy ocean. One can start to feel sea sick and emotionally overwhelmed with what life throws at us. At this point I feel its time to stop still on the shore and look out at the sea and source out the calm peaceful energy that one needs to remain centred in rough tides.

Self reflection is a concept that was taught to us all throughout our studies at University. The concept of being aware of the self in relation to ones professionalism, surroundings, mannerisms, behaviours and interactions with others is something that we are taught to be aware of and self evaluate in regards to these areas. However it is something I have always endeavoured to do throughout my life as I have always felt the eyes of society judging me (and not in a paranoid way of course). So many young women are socialised and raised with constant media barrage portraying images of how women should look and behave and on numerous occasions throughout my life I have been told things such as “shouldn’t you loose some weight”, “a lady shouldn’t speak like that” or “girls shouldn’t dress like that or play that game” and to this I would always say ‘really, why?” “Where is the rule book and where in it does it outline how a girl should behave”? I guess Ive always gone against the grain when it comes to how a woman should behave. I speak out for those that don’t have a voice, I’m strong minded and opinionated and I openly show affection! For some reason these qualities I openly embrace seem to make people feel uneasy, so I see its self reflection time again….

As far as I see it if I’m not hurting ANYONE then why cant I do what I want? These kinds of statements and images have lingered in mind and I have seen the long term damage to other women that I have been close to, be ruined by the random need for others to pass judgement or expectation on other women!!

I by no means am perfect and in regards to recent extensive self reflection have been wrestling with the notion that perhaps I am a massive hypocrite……… I always wish for peace love and happiness for all, I truly do from the bottom of my heart, with the utmost sincerity I feel the pain of so many others when I know I shouldn’t and I wish them peace and happiness despite not knowing whether they really deserve it or not.

My best friend and I used to refer to ourselves as bleeding hearts or rather crassly as “hire a griever” because we are so emotional and forgiving at times that we could attend the funeral of a complete stranger and be reduced to tears in mere minutes. However, here’s the hypocrisy………..

If you were to hurt me or anyone I cared about I would probably rip your head of with a barrage of verbal abuse in about zero to no seconds and then…….. (And yes I know there are people out there that can vouch for this) …….. Five seconds after that moment of judgement and anger I will be crying at the guilt I feel and the pain I feel in regards to my reaction and the possible pain my victim may be feeling….

Upon self reflection I am tough, I am a survivor, a survivor of way too many things to be on this page…… At times I am judgemental much to my own disappointment!!! The best and most honest part of me is my kindness and compassion!!! I feel proud to say that at least most of the time the good wins over the evil in me!! I don’t want to be racist or prejudice and I certainly don’t ever want to judge people, its not my job to.

There have been so many sad and challenging things happen lately in our lives and in our city that the heated discussions around me are flying rapidly, like a whirlwind of theories and opinions vying to win. Why does one person do one thing one way and another do it a different way, who is to say which way is right, it is human nature for us to all behave differently. At the end of the day though wouldn’t the world be so much of a better place if everyone could stop taking themselves so seriously and realise that we ALL deserve respect and peace!!

Respect and peace on an individual level and on a global level!! Self reflection is an amazing thing when the world is spinning and I feel I have lost sigh of who I am and someone appears to be insinuating that I am a fraud or a stupid hippie I take time out to engage in some self reflection. So to clarify, I am not a fraud, I am who I am and yes that is ever changing and I may be a bit of a hippie but I’m certainly not stupid 🙂

I try most of the time to be up front and honest because I believe that its important to be who you want to be free from judgement, hatred or envy. I am never really envious of anybody because quite frankly I think its pretty awesome to be me, if anything I would just like to be a better version of me, perhaps a little skinnier, less chaotic or spontaneous… and even so immediately after writing those words I think, in whose opinion, cause really its the chaos I thrive on that makes me, me 🙂 Are these negative thoughts and self talk all laying dormant in the subconscious filed away under the category of ‘previous insults’ to be used and brought forward when feeling flat, insecure or unhappy…….

I do prefer honesty from others though there is a way and a way, if you do not agree with someone’s actions voice it in a way that may be constructive to future actions, not destructive. You do yourself and your cause no good by behaving badly. If you feel strongly about a certain event, that may or may not have directly invovled you try to discuss it with someone that may have first hand experience or information on the incident that may be able to discuss, educate or even enlighten you to the true facts, please do not engage in ideal gossip or misguided anger.

At very rare times as Ive said I do judge but briefly and then I feel sadness because who am I to think I am better than anyone else!! Usually my judgement is not based on the belief that I think I’m better than anyone else it is usually motivated by the belief that my behaviour or life choices are better than others. So are they? Am I really a better person because I would never encourage my child to carry a placard condoning violence? Or because I really try hard not to live my life participating in petty gossip? There are always two sides to every story and I will usually only know my side until I go out of my way to truly find out and understand the other side. I have no time for secrecy, spying or passing judgement!! I would much rather be out there in the world living it, feeling it, breathing it!!! I would much rather have a heated debate about what you think of my opinions that have you judge me behind closed doors where I am not afforded that chance to defend myself. Perhaps even allow me the chance to take on board your judgement and use it to self reflect and maybe even better myself. Yes some things we say or do will unintentionally hurt, shock or offend others but it is their reaction to our behaviour, so are we suppose to change our behaviour due to a persons response?……..

Perhaps we should at least self reflect on our behaviour if it shocks or offends someone. Should we change or stop if it hurts someone? If it hurts them emotionally? If it hurts them physically? Some people may respond to this question with a definite yes! However some people can move on from their emotions being a little bit hurt, others may not be able to. It seems fair to say that no-one should be allowed to physically hurt another person, no self reflection needed, just don’t do it! (Unless your that way inclined of course, boxers etc).

So what I am trying to say is, we all need to take time out occasionally to sit back and partake in a little self reflection. We all find it so easy to pass judgement on others and assume that our way is the right way but what is right for one may not be right for another.

There are some behaviours I see in people that as I said earlier initially frustrate me and make me wildly angry and then instantly I feel sad, sad for them that they feel so empty or frustrated themselves that they feel they need to behave in such a desperate way! Every human deserves to live in peace, free from judgement and fear. Free from feeling that if they don’t look or behave a certain way that society may not accept them. Never judge a book by its cover, try turning the pages to uncover the layers of what could be a beautiful soul. Never go on hear say or subscribe to the theories of the masses, find out the truth or the facts and decide for yourself. That’s what I always try to do, I always endeavour to make people feel safe enough in my presence to show me who they really are, no facades. I don’t want false interactions, I always try to live by ‘what you see is what you get’. If I’m feeling great I will tell you and if I am feeling sad I will tell you. I know to some its hard to be who they really are and they may be more private and prefer not to show their true emotions and that is okay too. At the end of the day though we are all human and we all experience widely the same kinds of emotions and I feel that as a global community if people could learn to express themselves emotionally more freely and without judgement the world would be a better place. It would be a better place because people would quickly realise that they are not alone with their feelings, so many others may feel the same way and this can lead to people being able to support each other better.

I know my honesty and openness emotionally can make people uncomfortable, Ive seen people blush in my presence or even had them request I “tone it down a bit”, however this is pretty rare mostly people respond well to my random hugs, of course using self awareness and reflection I don’t hug patients, unless they go in first lol 🙂

I guess this process of regular self reflection always leads me back to thinking am I being the kindest most understanding, compassionate person I can be because these are the qualities that mean the most to me. Of course sincerity is right up there too because there is nothing worse than someone showing a persona that is calm, kind and non-judgemental just to hide that they are really thriving on sitting on their private make believe pedestal looking down their noses at people and passing judgement every chance they can…… Am I sometimes guilty of being part of this group? I have a gorgeous friend who’s catch phrase is “Don’t they know who I think I am’? (Copyright to PJ 🙂 ) and I think this is fabulous and appropriate to her and I laugh every time I hear it and yet to know her is to know that she will extend kindness to anyone that reaches out to her. I believe its ok to be self complimenting and appreciative, what is so wrong with being proud of who you are? Why do people feel threatened by those that exude confidence? Yes there is a difference between being confident and arrogant, however who determines what behaviour fits which category? What one person may interpret as arrogant another might view as a strong sense of self confidence.

Taking a moment to self reflect has made me look at aspects of my personality that may be misconstrued as arrogant. Yes I think I’m awesome!! No I don’t think I’m better than anyone else!! Yes at times I feel like I am less than others, especially when I feel they are negatively judging me…… However I quickly remind myself that for whatever reason at that moment they feel they know me well enough or they have the need to pass judgement on me and it is there prerogative to do that and mine to walk away with my head held high maintaining my sense of self dignity and self worth.

Am I self evaluating enough? Have I called you a bitch recently? Maybe…. I can honestly say that if I have then I didn’t mean it and now regret it and probably feel really bad for hurting you. Especially because my main motivation in life is to be a healer not a deliverer of pain. I truly want peace, don’t you? I want my children to be raised in a community where it is ok to be praised, loved and supported! Recently there has been a debate circulating around regarding whether or not we are setting our children up for failure by over praising them? To this I say WTF? I again undertook some self reflection on this topic. Am I a boastful parent? I don’t really think so, I recognise their achievements and praise them for them. I try to always praise them so they have good self esteem and feel confident enough within themselves to make good life choices. Why would you not want to praise your children? Do people really think that by praising them we are setting them up with false hope or expectations? Is it unrealistic to say, ‘hey of course you can be anything you want to be” Why cant they be anything they want? Are we wading into a debate that has become to politically correct? All children are innocent victims of their environment and learn by what the elders around teach them. If we teach them that they are limited by our opinions of them then of course they will not strive to be better than a mediocre version of themselves.

So many areas of self reflection lately, politics, religion, parenting, nursing, professionalism, relationships, freedom, judgement and ME!

Politics always fascinate me and I have always undertaken to learn as much as I can about the various political parties and movements to keep track of where my state, national and Global community might be heading. To this all I have to say, somewhat ambiguously, some people in power inspire and impress me and others….well…lets just say they scare me.

Religion also a topic I have forever been fascinated by, I have as well as a few of my friends throughout our lives delved into several different religions trying to find the one that fits us best. The outcome of this being that there doesn’t seem to be one that completely envelopes all that appeals to my system of beliefs. I believe in a God (perhaps because the thought of no God and no heaven is too painful for me) that is a nondenominational God that does not pass judgement on people based on gender, race, sexual preference, cultural and spiritual beliefs; A God that protects all children from abuse and neglect, providing them unconditional love and protection always; A God that commits to ending all this pain and suffering that is becoming so prevalent; A God that will instill respect, compassion, love and Peace in the hearts of ALL humankind!! I pray to GOD THAT A GOD LIKE THIS REALLY EXISTS!!

Self reflection on parenting has brought me to the conclusion that, yes I do swear on occasion in front of my kiddies however they understand and respect the rule of ‘do as I say not as I do’. Yes on occasion they probably eat to much junk food and probably don’t do enough homework. Aside from all of this (without being boastful, only truly honest because I would be the first one to tell you if they were being little shits!) I think it is fair to say that I have parented with a firm loving hand providing them with constant unconditional love. Instilling the knowledge and boundaries in them so that they know how to respect themselves, me and others. They are loving kind compassionate children that would never raise a hand to me or others (except very occasionally to each other but hopefully they will grow out of that). They are average students academically and I am fine with that! They are average sporting participants and I am fine with that too! Parenting for me has always been and always will be about loving, protecting and guiding!!

Self reflection on nursing has led me to the conclusion that yes it was always meant to be!! Despite the hours, the pay, the difficult patients or colleagues aside from my family it will always be my one true love!! Furthermore, yes I could do to undertake some refresher courses especially in the areas of pathophysiology and pharmacology!!

Self reflection on professionalism has driven me to think about how I conduct myself at work sometimes and to be self aware about how I am communicating with people when trying to get a job done. Sometimes my chaotic personality can make things seem more urgent than they need to be……

Self reflection about relationships is ongoing and ever changing, people grow constantly and as I said in my recent Blog on friendships, they can be fickle and fantastic. I feel I’m in a good place right now with my relationships, there seems to be a nice balance of people around me who understand me and I them 🙂

Self reflection about freedom has me drawing to the conclusion that although we are some of the freest people in the world, we are only as free as we allow ourselves to be. I know a few of you understand what I’m truly saying. We are held back by our fears of what others may perceive us to be. We deny ourselves the luxurious freedom of being who we truly want to be for fear of being judged and denied by society.

Which leads me to my final area of self reflection, judgement. Am I a hypocrite? Do I wish for no-one to judge me and yet allow myself to judge others? I truly try not too! I certainly have discovered quickly and this may come as a shock to those that don’t know this about me, but I would certainly much rather sincerely pay another person a compliment than sarcastically refer to them as ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’!!!! Just so you know I don’t think its funny or a term of endearment to refer to me as either of those words, as far as I’m aware they were words designed as insults and as such I can never be comfortable with them being used towards me as terms of endearment!! I am not, have not been and never will be anyone’s ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’. I feel uncomfortable and sad when women think this is an ok and acceptable way to speak to each other. As Ive said before if I have ever said it to you I would have had to been pretty angry to call you that. Is it so ingrained in women that we aren’t allowed to support each other or pay each other compliments or feel self pride? Or is it just the Aussie way now that women can only express mate-ship by referring to each other using derogatory words? Hhhhhhmmmmm maybe I’m too much of a princess or hippie but I doubt it because I know I can be a real bitch when I need to be but it is rarely! Anyway I have digressed of the topic of judgement a little and so to wrap it all up, people are free to refer to each other as they please as long as both are in agreement that it is ok and one is not feeling judged by the other.

Self reflection, is it really all about ME? Of course it is and sometimes taking a good hard look at yourself can be really confronting. Do you like what you see? Have you done it recently? Perhaps your burning desire to constantly judge others comes from your unhappiness with what you see when you look within yourself…..

One of my favourite sayings of all time is “Be the change you want to see in the world” (words written motivated by a speech given by Mahatma Gandhi)

Self reflection is all about me, when I am the one doing it, however it prompts me to look at how I fit and interact within my world and I enjoy analysing how my life is going. I like the challenge of trying to recognise the areas that might need work and addressing them. It is often my biggest critics that motivate me to self reflect and to them I say thank you! Today you have been my muse 🙂

Yesterday I was Me

Today I am Me

Tomorrow I will be Me

I am the Me

You think You know

The Me I am is everchanging

The Me you think You know

The Me I am always learning

The Me you think You know

How can you know Me?

If I don’t really know Me

Yesterday I am Me

Today I am Me

Tomorrow I am Me

And you think You know Me

So I guess the day after tomorrow, We both shall See…….

Peace, Love and Happiness 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

All The Bits In Between, Family, Health, Nursing

Why go to an Emergency Department

Posted on September 21, 2012September 21, 2012 by nursenoosha

Hello beautiful people 😮

Sorry about the delay in this post, work has been incredibly busy these last few days and the most I could do at the end of each shift was shower and fall into bed!! The photo above should be called the terrifying and highly unusual time you have empty beds in the emergency department, so rare an occurrence several months ago that we took photos!!

This topic will be about what type of presentations we see in a busy Emergency Department (ED), who, why and when you should attend an ED. Of course this is just my observation and opinion not endorsed by any Local Health District, State or Federal Government Health Policy. MY OPINION AND OBSERVATION.

Yes I know we should not subscribe to Wikipedia however this is a fairly good description of what constitutes a medical emergency;

‘A medical emergency is an injury or illness that is acute and poses an immediate risk to a person’s life or long term health. These emergencies may require assistance from another person, who should ideally be suitably qualified to do so, although some of these emergencies can be dealt with by the victim themselves, by attending to Basic Life Support. Dependent on the severity of the emergency, and the quality of any treatment given, it may require the involvement of multiple levels of care, from a first aider to an emergency physician through to specialist surgeons.’ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_emergency

If you think you or someone else is experiencing a medical emergency then please call 000 (in Australia)

http://www.triplezero.gov.au/Pages/default.aspx

Upon presentation to an ED the patient will initially be quickly assessed by a triage nurse and assigned a triage category according to their presentation.

The triage category is based upon the clinical assessment of the patient by a highly experienced registered nurse in keeping with current guidelines in place that determine what clinical signs and symptoms fit which category. The wait times recommended are followed by percentage suggestions that indicate the importance of adhering to these suggested wait times. For example someone presenting with clinical signs and symptoms that are allocated a triage category 1 will require immediate medical attention and this should be adhered to in 100% of cases where a triage category 1 has been given. This category indicates that the patient requires immediate life saving attention. I am trying to example all this in the simplest manner so that those from a non-healthcare background will find it easy to follow.

For those that are interested in reading up further on what and how the guidelines are for allocating a triage category below is a link with a brief overview from the Australian Governments Department of Health and Ageing, Emergency Quick Reference Guide.

http://www.health.gov.au

So you feel unwell or have an injury and present to ED you are given a triage category score by the triage nurse, so what next? Your wait time will then be determined by your scale. If you are a category 1 or 2 you will be attended to very promptly by medical and nursing staff, the process usually follows the patient being taken from the triage room to the resuscitation bay or acute area depending on how stable the patient is and where beds in the department are available. If your triage category is lower than 1 and 2 and you are stable then you will more than likely remain in the waiting room until your name is called by a doctor that will be assessing you. During your time in the waiting room a nurse may do a brief assessment and attend to things such as your vital signs, blood pressure, temperature etc and may provide you with some basic treatment such as analgesia or anti-emetics. The idea of being attended to by a nurse in the waiting room is to ensure you remain stable and comfortable while you wait to see the doctor and possibly fast track your treatment by taking and sending off bloods so that the results may be available when the doctor is ready to see you.

People in the waiting room can at any point also deteriorate and if you feel this is happening to you or the person you are with you need to notify the nurse immediately. People in the waiting room can also get frustrated at the notion that people arriving after them are ‘jumping the cue’ by being seen to by a doctor first or by-passing the waiting room altogether, keep in mind that these people are obviously so unwell that they have received a higher triage scale and require more urgent medical attention than someone that is stable enough to wait in the waiting room.

Some people that are given a triage scale of 3, 4, or 5 may even be well enough to have attended a general practitioner (GP) or local medical officer. People often present to an emergency department with a presentation that could easily be attended to by a GP. For example feeling ‘a little under the weather’ with flu like symptoms, does not really constitute a medical emergency. Actually without being judgemental I would like to list a few presentations that could easily be seen to by a GP.

Not Emergencies:

Splinter in the finger (not active bleeding, nil signs of infection, no attempt at getting it out, circ obs intact)
Mild back pain ongoing for years (previous investigations NAD, nil analgesia taken, pt walking fine, wants a referral to a physiotherapist)
Woke up at two a.m. with a sore big toe (no discolouration, nil swelling, circ obs intact, nil analgesia taken)
Need a repeat of a prescription
Need a pregnancy test
Need an STI check
Need a mole checked
Need someone to talk to (sad but true, yes we will take time to talk to you, however if someone else requires emergency medical attention, we are running, no more time for chatting!)
Seen here days ago and need someone to re-do dressing on leg wound….. (hhmm we can do it however the wait time will be a good few hours, not sure why pt wasn’t educated on how to change dressing or use GP or community nurse?)

The list goes on in regards to what is not necessarily an emergency and you will find yourself sitting in the waiting room for hours. Although the triage scale provides a guide on how long your wait should be, realistically if it is a busy shift in the ED and ambulances are lining up outside with patients to drop off and the waiting room is full it is fair to say that your wait will be much longer than what is estimated in the triage chart. Please also remember people as well that just because you came in an ambulance does not mean that if you are more stable than someone that walked in who is really unwell you will be seen before them!! If you are stable enough to climb off the stretcher and sit in the waiting room then that its were you will wait, calling an ambulance does not and will not fast track you into seeing a doctor if it is not urgently required!

Examples of Emergencies:

Chest pain
Loss of Consciousness (LOC)
Shortness of Breath (SOB)
Seizure
Anaphylaxis
Trauma ( Motor vehicle / motorbike/cyclist accident, fall, penetrating injury, blunt injury)
Haemorrhage (bleeding)
Haematemesis (vomiting blood)
Appendicitis
Ectopic Pregnancy

This list of course is no where near exhaustive, however I just wanted to give a small overview of what we see and treat frequently as medical emergencies.

So the point of this post is to firstly encourage people to recognise a potential emergency and act swiftly by commencing CPR if necessary and calling triple 000.

Second point to this post is to try and encourage people to recognise what may not constitute a medical emergency and encourage people to seek medical advice from a GP if appropriate. The result of people attending a GP as opposed to attending the ED will mean less of a financial and time burden on the public health system, freeing up more resources (staff, equipment, beds) for patients that really require emergency treatment. The benefits to the individual who presents to the GP as opposed to an ED may include shorter wait times to be seen, having readily available follow up care and seeing someone in their local area. Some people may not attend their local GP because of the rising costs involved in visiting the doctor. It is worthwhile shopping around as several local doctors still bulk bill, that is, charge it to your medicare card, or waiver fees for people on pensions and those with health-care cards. Most local doctors can order x-rays, give prescriptions, referrals to specialist and do some minor procedures such as sutures for small lacerations. If you find a good one that can do all this for you stick with them for good continuity of care.

I guess there will always be that case were it just isn’t clear whether the situation is bad enough to require attending an ED and in that case I would say just come in!! Better to err on the side of caution and get checked out than leave it to late!! However if you are told that there will be a wait and you find yourself sitting there for hours and hours……and hours please as difficult as it is refrain from becoming agitated and aggressive towards the staff. They are trying their best to see everybody in a timely manner. The emergency staff are restricted by the resources available to them, they are often under-staffed running without enough nurses and doctors on board due to continuing health budget cuts and further complicated by limited bed spaces.

Yes our health-care system is one of the best in the world and yes we are still struggling to provide more timely care to the public, however now would be great to suggest that we spare a thought to those in third world and less fortunate countries than ours that don’t even get the, dare I say it, luxury of waiting for hours in a waiting room knowing that they will receive free treatment from highly skilled health-care workers……. So if anyone feels the need to become abusive towards those that are getting underpaid and overworked to provide you with good health-care treatment perhaps a more effective method of venting would be to write a letter to our State Government, those that write the polices and provide the funding for a system that is obviously already stretched to its capacity and is struggling to meet the needs of the population.

Now I do not want to blur the lines here about whether or not one should attend and emergency department as I said previously if in doubt check it out!! I am simply trying to explain what, how and why we do things in an ED.

I myself at times have been known to attend an ED when it was probably unnecessary……perhaps even recently….perhaps because I was too tired and unsure to diagnose my own kid with a virus as opposed to measles….

So maybe Ill take my own advice and go back to relying on my GP for as much as possible or subscribe to my other theory of…..

Hopefully this helps clarify how an emergency department works even just a little bit.

Now for a very deserving shout out to all my amazing colleagues, I know at times, we will be punched, spat at, threatened, insulted, overworked, underpaid and left exhausted but please don’t stop doing what you do!!

ED nurses, doctors and allied health workers, ward clerks, clerical staff and security all do an amazing job to keep things running smoothly while assisting in saving lives!!

Keep up the awesome work guys, without you so many would not have survived!!!!

Peace, Love and Happiness 😮 xoxoxoxoxoxox ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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