Hello beautiful people,
So it seems that I feel the need to return to the topic of birth, I think there has been enough talk of controversial topics of late. Today I’m on my day off work and instead of relaxing or pottering around the house I’m sitting in the lounge room with master (nearly) twelve listening to him, through snotty nasally snorts explain to me how to find out my pirate name, cause that’s actually really funny, apparently. Today I kept him home from school because he has been fighting the flu and although he rarely gets sick its been a pretty bad flu this time and so I thought he better stay home and recuperate. Also I’ve never been one of those parents that doses their kids up with Panadol, Nurofen and cough medicine and sends them off to school to infect other poor children!! That actually drives me crazy!!!! I used to hate it when my kids were little and I took them to play group and another parent would say “oh we’ve been up all night with vomiting or fevers”, I would look at them horrified and say “well what are you doing here then” thinking to myself are you deliberately trying to spread your germs and make the rest of us sick?!!! Anyway, Marshall( master 12) is home so he can rest and get better quickly and not share his snotty germs with other people’s kiddies.
Marshall has been a healthy chap since he was born, as I said very rarely sick, we often joke that he has a cast iron stomach cause that kid could eat just about anything without getting sick!! Marshall was born seven years after our daughter, because of how young I was when I had her and the difficulties I encountered when I had her as told in Birth To Where Is My Courtesy Phone Call, I decided to wait until I had my second child.
Birth sometimes seems a taboo topic to discuss unless you’re sitting in a playgroup full of mums who want to share birth stories and even then it’s often the horror stories that get shared more frequently. I’m always surprised and saddened by how many women think birth is scary and disgusting!! My first birth was, I guess you could say, emotionally traumatic but physically, my baby and I were fine so that is the best outcome one could hope for. My second birth was AMAZING!!!! I love talking about it and love reminiscing about it!! However the response I’ve had from some women when I recount my birth story includes comments such as “are you crazy, why do it naturally when you can have drugs?” or “yeah but your one of the lucky ones, it rarely goes that good” I feel irritated by responses like this because its unnecessary to take away from the joy and pride I feel about my birth experience!! Especially because I don’t do pregnancy well, not very well at all!! With each of my pregnancies I have gotten huge!!!! I’m only five foot three and with each pregnancy I’ve roughly put on between twenty and thirty kilograms!!! Mostly in my tummy and arse……. I have babies weighing between 3.3kgs and 4.5kgs. I get morning sickness the whole nine months and the only thing that stops me vomiting is eating!! I get headaches, heartburn, nosebleeds, nocturia and insomnia….. I’ve also had miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies so I usually don’t tell anyone Im pregnant till well after three months….. Oh the joys of being pregnant!! So if I’ve been *lucky* enough to have good births, I say yay, go me!!!
My pregnancy with Marshall was probably one of my easiest ones, except the time I feel over when I was merely trying to walk or the time I vomited on my daughters back and into her school bag as we were leaving the house for school one morning….Sorry baby girl :}
Throughout my pregnancy I was calm, happy and stress free. My husband worked, my daughter was at school so I had alot of free me time once I went on early maternity leave. I attended creative birth classes run by a gorgeous woman, who created a safe space for women only. In the classes we did meditation, visualisation, yoga and creative arts. In one of our visualisation sessions I visualised my baby and drew a water-colour picture of baby which actually turned out to look just like him.
I felt so well prepared for this baby that when the day came to head to the hospital, with my birth plan in place, to give birth, I felt like I could take on the world.
The day before I went into labour I said to my husband, Sniper, I feel a bit tired and I have a back ache, I think I’ll go to be early. I called my mum and told her to be on standby because I wasn’t feeling great. She was straight over with my sister and they stayed the night to watch my daughter just in case. I went to bed and slept quite well and woke around 5am. Everyone else was still asleep. I went to the bathroom and had a ‘show’ , which in technical terms is a thick bloody mucous plug that covers the cervix and is shed from the body before labour, yep gross! I also noticed that I had a back ache and slight tightening in my stomach. I went back to bed to read for an hour until the pains started getting stronger. I woke Sniper and said “I’m pretty sure I’m having contractions so I’ll just call the hospital and see what they say”, the hospital said “we’re not to busy so come in if you like and see how you’re going” So I quietly told my mum and off Sniper and I went to the Birth Centre at Royal Hospital for Women, Randwick. Upon arrival we were met by a beautiful midwife named Tai, she took my history did a quick set of vital signs and asked if I wanted and internal examination. At this stage I said I didn’t mind and she did an examination and told me I was only two to three centimetres dilated, so there was action but it could still take hours, days even. She told us we could stay for a bit and monitor the contractions to see if they were getting stronger and if not then we could go home. It was roughly 7am. The birth centre room was big and had a double bed in the middle of the room, a beautiful cane crib, a wooden dining table with two chairs, a bean bag, a wooden rocking chair and a huge bathroom, with bath tub and double shower. We put on some relaxing music and burnt some essential oils and a walked around the room for a while and sat rocking in the rocking chair. We talked, my husband and I, we played cards and felt so relaxed with just the two of us in the room like we were on holidays in a nice hotel. Around mid morning I told Tai that the contractions were getting stronger and I wouldn’t mind if she examined me, she did and told me that I was nearly nine centimetres dilated and she couldn’t believe how calm and relaxed I seemed. I did internalize my pain a bit and finally spoke up and said I wouldn’t mind trying something to help with the pain, perhaps a bath or something? My husband was anxious about water births so he looked at me nervously and the midwife suggested it might be too late for that so we settled on a shower instead. I sat on a shower chair holding one shower nozzle on my tummy and Sniper holding one on my back and the pain was coming in waves getting stronger and stronger and closer together and sometimes I had to remind myself to breathe! The relaxation techniques and pelvic rocking I learned in creative birth class were coming in handy!! The more I tensed up with each contraction the worse the pain got!! So I had to remember to relax!! I stared at my husband who was smoothing my hair out of my eyes and said ‘I love you” and I squeezed his hand, he said “I love you too and you’re doing great baby”, “I don’t think I can do this much longer” “Ok honey, let me get the midwife and we’ll get you out of the shower and see how we can help with the pain”. With that he walked out of the bathroom to find Tai, as he did I stood up…….alone……kind of a bad idea lol I heard, I kid you not, a pop sound and even though I had put the shower nozzles down I felt an almighty gush of warm water running down my legs….. “I need to push right NOW!!’ I screamed and he came running back in and I felt the centre of my gravity shift as something forceful and beyond my control was pushing straight down through my pelvis. The regular rhythmical contractions had stopped and it was like one long tight cramping and burning sensation around my perineum. Sniper put his arm around my waist and said “its ok baby I got you, let me walk you to the bed” as he did he pressed the assistance button on the wall and in came our midwife! I didn’t make it to the bed and was gently lowered onto the bean bag on the floor. A few really good pushes, going with the overwhelming feeling that my body no longer had control of itself and out came this absolutely gorgeous squishy baby!! Tai caught him and placed him straight in my arms on my tummy. I was still naked and wet from the shower and I felt her place a blanket around us. I looked down at my gorgeous baby and thought how beautiful, not caring or even thinking to ask if it was a boy or girl. I looked up at Sniper and he was crying “he said good work honey look” and was pointing at our baby and I looked to see and realised he was pointing at a little willy!!! We just had our first son!!!! Marshall Stone was born at 12:oopm midday 🙂
Both of us coming from families with all sisters, we always thought we’d only have girls!! We were crying but Marshall didn’t cry when he came out, the first time he cried was about half an hour later when I handed him to his daddy because I wanted to get up and have another shower and get dressed!! I felt like I had more adrenaline and endorphins running through me than any athlete!! I felt invincible!! I had my shower got dressed and then we called everybody to tell them of Marshall’s arrival. Of course the first person we phoned was our princess Magenta (big sister) and that was when I was handing Marshall to his daddy and he cried because he didn’t like his sleep being disturbed (he still doesn’t like his sleep being disturbed to this day!) and his big sissy heard him cry for the first time over the phone which made her cry! There were a lot of tears of joy that day!!! We stayed one night in the birth centre and went home the next day on the early discharge program. The midwives came and did home visits for a few days, it was all very calm uncomplicated and lovely. All the midwives we had were kind compassionate and helpful, it was a completely opposite experience to my first birth.
I sometimes wonder if this relaxed, laid back birth contributed to my sons personality today. He is kind, compassionate, artistic, a great singer, good with technology, good with little kiddies and animals and yet not that interested in sport and somewhat hard to get motivated. Always just wanting to chill….lol….
Marshall is the coolest (nearly) twelve-year-old boy I know!! He makes me laugh and makes me proud of him every day! He is the perfect mix of me and his dad, he has his dads talent for music and technology and my outgoing personality and passion for reading!
Marshall, you are a great little brother to your big sister and a great big brother to your little brothers! You’ve spent countless hours playing, growing and learning together and I’m sure you’ll all be great friends as you get older!
The day you were born my beautiful boy
Was a day filled with tears of joy
You make us proud everyday
And make us laugh in so may ways
Whenever you’re around no day is filled with gloom
But please oh please son don’t make me ask you again to please CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!
Birth stories are sometimes confronting I guess because people are grossed out about how we humans enter the world. I know my boy will read this story and squirm but he knows I’m a nurse and even the sweetest stories are tainted with gross technical terms!!
Love you so much Marshall Stone you’ll always be awesome cool to me 🙂
Peace, Love and Happiness xoxoxoxoxoxox